I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it.
Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:37 am
* We ought to get a life, but this one is TOOO much fun to give up!
* I'll get a life when someone demonstrates that it would be superior to what I have now.
* I am not obsessive compulsive; I can stop anytime I want as soon as I fall dead asleep.
* After 36 hours of no sleep, you start to see lots of interesting new colors.
* Weird? I'm not weird. Strange, yes, demented even, but not weird! You see things and you say 'why?' But I dream things that never were, and say, 'Why not?'
* Which is better, sex or staring at static on a TV screen until your eyes burn out? I prefer sex until your eyes burn out.
* Life is like a box of chocolates...in a Monty Python skit!
* Caffeine is a wonderful thing and without it I think my eyeballs could fall out.
* Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'Lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. I! I! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn! -- Text found embedded deep within the code of Windows 95. It explains much.
* Theory: when you have ideas. Ideology: when ideas have you.
* Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other Eight are Unimportant.
* Sometimes I lie awake at night in my bed and I watch the stars, and I wonder, where the fuck is my ceiling?
* I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.'
* The way to a man's heart is through his chest cavity with a chainsaw.
* Duncan MacButShe'sAWomanAndIHadSexWithHer of the Clan McChivalry...
* It's a job, and somebody dirty's got to do it.
* Anything once, twice if I don't get permanently injured first time.
* There's not nearly enough room in my closet for what I get up to.
* If you can't afford a Rolls Royce, don't want one.
* Try holding your breath for as long as it takes your home page to load.
* The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.
* Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
* I know but one freedom, and that is the freedom of the mind.
* I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
* I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
* Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. -- Snoopy
* The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
* Fight war, not wars. destroy power, not people.
* You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
* I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
* The cure for everything is salt water: Sweat, tears, or the sea.
* I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. -- from 'Manhatten Murder Mystery'
* If Jesus Christ came back today and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
* If it is tourist season, why can't I shoot them?
* Harriet: Do you actually like Haggis? Charlie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
* Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
* I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
* We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
* I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
* Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
* God invented man because Eve's vibrator ran out of batteries.
* God invented men because he wanted a good laugh.
* I'll get a life when someone demonstrates that it would be superior to what I have now.
* I am not obsessive compulsive; I can stop anytime I want as soon as I fall dead asleep.
* After 36 hours of no sleep, you start to see lots of interesting new colors.
* Weird? I'm not weird. Strange, yes, demented even, but not weird! You see things and you say 'why?' But I dream things that never were, and say, 'Why not?'
* Which is better, sex or staring at static on a TV screen until your eyes burn out? I prefer sex until your eyes burn out.
* Life is like a box of chocolates...in a Monty Python skit!
* Caffeine is a wonderful thing and without it I think my eyeballs could fall out.
* Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'Lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. I! I! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn! -- Text found embedded deep within the code of Windows 95. It explains much.
* Theory: when you have ideas. Ideology: when ideas have you.
* Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other Eight are Unimportant.
* Sometimes I lie awake at night in my bed and I watch the stars, and I wonder, where the fuck is my ceiling?
* I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.'
* The way to a man's heart is through his chest cavity with a chainsaw.
* Duncan MacButShe'sAWomanAndIHadSexWithHer of the Clan McChivalry...
* It's a job, and somebody dirty's got to do it.
* Anything once, twice if I don't get permanently injured first time.
* There's not nearly enough room in my closet for what I get up to.
* If you can't afford a Rolls Royce, don't want one.
* Try holding your breath for as long as it takes your home page to load.
* The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.
* Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
* I know but one freedom, and that is the freedom of the mind.
* I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
* I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
* Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. -- Snoopy
* The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
* Fight war, not wars. destroy power, not people.
* You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
* I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
* The cure for everything is salt water: Sweat, tears, or the sea.
* I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. -- from 'Manhatten Murder Mystery'
* If Jesus Christ came back today and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
* If it is tourist season, why can't I shoot them?
* Harriet: Do you actually like Haggis? Charlie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
* Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
* I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
* We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
* I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
* Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
* God invented man because Eve's vibrator ran out of batteries.
* God invented men because he wanted a good laugh.