New Element Discovery

[Eunuken (imported)]

Research in South Australia has led to the discovery of the heaviest

element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant

neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it

an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are

surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since

Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,

because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally

take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 5 years; It does not decay, but

instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant

neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since

each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming

isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe

that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical level

of concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical

morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an

element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has

half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[kennath7 (imported)]

real good i like it

[IbPervert (imported)]

aaaaahhhhh so that is the source of morons in the world!

[tr_80504 (imported)]

It appears that right now that element is quite abundant in the US.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

And I thought hydrogen and stupidity were the two most common elements in the universe. What the heck, wrong again.

[Francis (imported)]

A very illuminating post here. It clarifies a lot of things I never understood before. Suggest that you send it to National Geographic for inclusion in their publication together with some pix (to which I can contribute) of various governmental morons in action creating ever-increasing amounts of governmentium