I remember that thread. What he asked about was impossible to do. A fair number of people discouraged him from even attempting.

Umm, No.

You aren’t going to blame Paolo for anything cause he did nothing wrong. You will blame no one who was involved in that discussion except for Nestor. No way, no how.

Let’s recap shall we? Nestor comes in and wants advice on doing something exceedingly stupid but is informed by people who are very knowledgeable and have experience in this stuff, that what he has planned is not a good thing and what will probably happen if he proceeds (cutting his nuts off with a red-hot knife). He takes a whack at one of those that replied (Not Paolo) and tries to maintain the idea that he will have a healthy outcome.

He is advised that he should know better and is advised again by several parties that his planned self-surgery is a really bad thing. Nestor blames the world for all his woes except himself and says he has a tube of Neosporin that he plans to use as an antibiotic and that should be just fine.

He is again advised that he plan is a really bad plan and is also told that he probably should consider some psychiatric help. Nestor then loses a cog and starts in on the poster and informs us that “I just was and am still completely incapable of dealing with responsibility” and “I am a wretched person and if you had any goodness in you, you would want someone like me to be castrated”.

At that point Paolo steps in as a moderator to the forums and offers Nestor some very sensible advice “Eunuch or not, sitting around whining about how awful your life is, isn't going to change a thing or help one bit”. Nestor lets it all hang out and tears apart at Paolo and ends up banished (something that would happen at any forum).

So again no. You aren’t going to blame anyone here on this forum. Any blame or finger-pointing gets aimed at Nestor. If he shot himself that is a terrible thing but it was some he did and no one else. He came here seeking advice and he got it. Very sensible and well thought out advice even if he didn’t like it.

My two cents in this will reflect what everyone else here said to him “Don’t cut your balls off with a red-hot knife cause you probably won’t survive it”.

Thank-you, talula. Well said!

I've read through the thread in question and I completely agree with your recap. The only thing Paolo was guilty of was trying to help someone from going off the rails.

Nestor was indeed acting in a very self destructive way. Only he is guilty of what he did to himself. I am saddened to learn his ultimate fate, but it seems he had far more demons to fight than just a desire for castration. He was warned. Help was offered.

MariusS. (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 10, 2015 7:26 pm He was not the kind of person I would yell at or be mean to...

Didn't work both ways, though, did it?

If you think you're going to lay the blame for this (story?) at my door, pal, forget it.

Oh, and just so you know, MariusS, I didn't ban him. In fact, I had no plans to ban him. I was actually having fun listening to him.

You wanna lay blame? You wanna talk responsibility? YOU were there in person, it sounds like to me. Maybe you and some of your real-life buddies should have done a bit more? To me, the whole idea of committing suicide over the notion of "someone on the Internet doesn't like me" is ridiculous; if Nestor was in that bad of shape in person, then you lot that were there interacting with him had a responsibility that you seemed to have failed in.

Nestor had the resources of a lot of experience here, including a retired professional shrink (no offense to the shrink!) - and he chose to shit all over everyone, or ignore the lucky ones, who tried to talk to him. Then again, I can only imagine what he might have been putting you through.

Many years ago, I found myself in nearly the same predicament as your friend when I landed here.

The difference is, I listened. I didn't ignore, or go flaming back, at what was said to me.

Thank you, Talula, Gem, Ieunuch, and the late Bboy...and anyone I might have missed in that old list.

WOW! I didn't know this had such a tragic outcome. I read some of his posts but it was obvious this guy was either disturbed or putting us on. I never responded because I had nothing to offer that hadn't already been said. I feel for this guy's family who had to deal with the final result. Did that once many years ago and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

It all comes down to: Personal Responsibility . You any only you can change, you can't blame anyone for you problems that your choices made for you self.

Part of the problem is this feel good teachings in schools now, ie we can't hold this child back (even it he has not learned what was needed!) or the boys are hypo-active lets drug them up. Some of the idiotic polices with guns - there are going to jump up and shoot you all by there lonesome or the turn you into a evil person just by touching the gun.

Sorry about the rant but I feel better......

_g

talula wrote: Wed Mar 11, 2015 5:48 am Umm, No.

You aren’t going to blame Paolo for anything cause he did nothing wrong. You will blame no one who was involved in that discussion except for Nestor. No way, no how.

Let’s recap shall we? Nestor comes in and wants advice on doing something exceedingly stupid but is informed by people who are very knowledgeable and have experience in this stuff, that what he has planned is not a good thing and what will probably happen if he proceeds (cutting his nuts off with a red-hot knife). He takes a whack at one of those that replied (Not Paolo) and tries to maintain the idea that he will have a healthy outcome.

He is advised that he should know better and is advised again by several parties that his planned self-surgery is a really bad thing. Nestor blames the world for all his woes except himself and says he has a tube of Neosporin that he plans to use as an antibiotic and that should be just fine.

He is again advised that he plan is a really bad plan and is also told that he probably should consider some psychiatric help. Nestor then loses a cog and starts in on the poster and informs us that “I just was and am still completely incapable of dealing with responsibility” and “I am a wretched person and if you had any goodness in you, you would want someone like me to be castrated”.

At that point Paolo steps in as a moderator to the forums and offers Nestor some very sensible advice “Eunuch or not, sitting around whining about how awful your life is, isn't going to change a thing or help one bit”. Nestor lets it all hang out and tears apart at Paolo and ends up banished (something that would happen at any forum).

So again no. You aren’t going to blame anyone here on this forum. Any blame or finger-pointing gets aimed at Nestor. If he shot himself that is a terrible thing but it was some he did and no one else. He came here seeking advice and he got it. Very sensible and well thought out advice even if he didn’t like it.

My two cents in this will reflect what everyone else here said to him “Don’t cut your balls off with a red-hot knife cause you probably won’t survive it”.

I'm just astounded, that you still think Nestor was a sane and rational person. For God's sake man, shouldn't the question he was asking have set you off immediately that there was something really screwed up with his mind? I'm not a psychology expert or anything but it was blatantly obvious Nestor was suffering from some sort of psychosis and was mentally incapable of listening to reason. And yet none of you could see that, you couldn't see how messed up in the head he was, yet you still blame him when he probably had little rational control over his thoughts and actions. You know that's why we have the insanity defense, because some people are so messed up in the head that they aren't capable of rat

Paolo wrote: Wed Mar 11, 2015 6:18 am ionally understanding what they're doing.

Didn't work both ways, though, did it?

If you think you're going to lay the blame for this (story?) at my door, pal, forget it.

Oh, and just so you know, MariusS, I didn't ban him. In fact, I had no plans to ban him. I was actually having fun listening to him.

You wanna lay blame? You wanna talk responsibility? YOU were there in person, it sounds like to me. Maybe you and some of your real-life buddies should have done a bit more? To me, the whole idea of committing suicide over the notion of "someone on the Internet doesn't like me" is ridiculous; if Nestor was in that bad of shape in person, then you lot that were there interacting with him had a responsibility that you seemed to have failed in.

Nestor had the resources of a lot of experience here, including a retired professional shrink (no offense to the shrink!) - and he chose to shit all over everyone, or ignore the lucky ones, who tried to talk to him. Then again, I can only imagine what he might have been putting you through.

Many years ago, I found myself in nearly the same predicament as your friend when I landed here.

The difference is, I listened. I didn't ignore, or go flaming back, at what was said to me.

Thank you, Talula, Gem, Ieunuch, and the late Bboy...and a

nyone I might have missed in that old list.

Like I said above, you're completely mistaken in thinking Nestor was a rational actor who would even be able to heed any of your advice. And again, even if you weren't the one who banned him, you didn't help at all by becoming hostile and threatening him. And there was little I could do, the only times I saw him was when he came into the convenience store I worked at. I never knew where he lived and by the time I got him to give me any details on his life had stopped coming by the store so I was only able to talk with him through email. And I only found out how messed up in the head until after he died and I came here. But you people really dropped the ball when handling him. Before you started blowing up on him and threatening him, other people here seemed indifferent towards his plight and didn't really bother to understand his situation when giving your advice. None of you tried to comfort him or show any sympathy towards him, you just kept trying to shoo him off to see a therapist, even though he kept telling you he was too poor for that. I can attest to how poor he was, whenever he came into the store he always had on the same dirty, torn up clothing and would only buy a few cheap snacks with coins. Sometimes he came up with his mother to buy a newspaper and cigarettes, and she also had raggedy clothes on. Sometimes they didn't have enough money so I just gave them what they asked for for free cause I felt really bad for them. I actually asked him once if he ever tried seeing a mental health professional and he told me that both his parents had serious medical problems and they were struggling to afford the medicine they needed, and that they couldn't afford a shrink. He also told me how skeptical he was of getting any help from mental health professionals after what happened to his uncle and he was very critical of American health care in general because it nearly killed his mother several times and messed up her sight(she always wore an eyepatch when I saw her). He had a messed up life and it would have been hard for him to follow any of the advice given here even if he wasn't psychotic. But you people didn't give

_g (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:24 am a damn, and now you blame him for what happened. The callousness here is sickening.

It all comes down to: Personal Responsibility . You any only you can change, you can't blame anyone for you problems that your choices made for you self.

Part of the problem is this feel good teachings in schools now, ie we can't hold this child back (even it he has not learned what was needed!) or the boys are hypo-active lets drug them up. Some of the idiotic polices with guns - there are going to jump up and shoot you all by there lonesome or the turn you into a ev

il person just by touching the gun.

Sorry about the rant but I feel better......

_g

You know the brain is an organ, just like all others and it can suffer from illnesses that warps someone way of thinking and often these sicknesses result of factors completely out of the control of these people. Would you blame someone who had their spine injured in childhood for not being able to walk correctly?

Marius I have read this whole thread and have come to one conclusion, that you blame yourself and don't like it so you want to pass it on to us, wont happen. We are all sorry that this guy killed himself but trying to blame us does not cut it. Help was offered, he chose not to receive it. However I would suggest to you that you talk to a counselor because it sounds like you have some issues with this that we are not able to help with.

River

Ok. MariusS. I was in that thread too. And I have a few questions.

1. How comes that the person this unstable got access to a rifle?

2. We are all in different parts of globe (I am ~5000 miles from USA), any suggestions on how to help a person who does not want help?

3. What would have you done?

Riverwind (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:19 pm Marius I have read this whole thread and have come to one conclusion, that you blame yourself and don't like it so you want to pass it on to us, wont happen. We are all sorry that this guy killed himself but trying to blame us does not cut it. Help was offered, he chose not to receive it.

River

Once again, you completely fail to consider his state of mind, and once again you failed to understand that you barely tried to help the kid. No one offered him any kind of comfort or sympathy whatsoever, that was probably the best kind of help he could have gotten, not being told everything is his fault and that he

fhunter wrote: Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:29 pm chose to be mentally ill and have poor and ill parents.

Ok. MariusS. I was in that thread too. And I have a few questions.

1. How comes that the person this unstable got access to a rifle?

2. We are all in different parts of globe (I am ~5000 miles from USA), any suggestions on how to help a per

son who does not want help?

3. What would have you done?

1. I don't know, I didn't even know he had a rifle until his cousin told me he shot himself with it.

2. Maybe actually try to help the person and understand there problems?

3. I actually tried to reach out to him and understand him, I tried to be as kind and sympathetic with him as possible, I never threatened him, yelled at him, or blamed him for his problems.