I
StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:41 pm
f a true scholastically untrained idiot may interject....
Go right ahead, the world is full of them.
StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:41 pm
This is a well-behaved discussion so far that I'm delighted to read. Thanks you guys, and to those of you who offered personal anecdotes, I look up to you. I'm surprised at the forthrightness, and... balls you all display. You are making me want to further identify my feelings about this subject, as I'm afraid
now I made my point too simply at first.
Thats what were here for.
The thing is, not all pederasts are created equal.
Depending on your definition, which weve done to death in the recent past, you are correct. Are you a pedophile, a pederast, a boy-lover, or what? Define such
but dont do so without first knowing all the facts. Thats just my opinion, based on real life experiences in childhood and adulthood. Its unfortunate that condemnation of such people comes so swiftly.
StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:41 pm
So much of society sees the idea of being able to 'love' a child not your own as repulsive...
Thats because the word love is often confused with the word lust. Ive had a hard time explaining this to several people who have questioned my relationships with various boys in my life. I have even used things like, Well, why dont you have the boys anus examined for traces of penetration or semen samples, then? This will either shut them up, or launch a very fun firefight!
StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:41 pm
as a man who loves the sounds, actions, easy-going nature and, yes, beauty of boys, I know that if my sexuality was 'outed', most of society who would hear of it would assume a) that I'm a monster and b) that I was abused, in some way, in childhood. While a) may be subjective, I know full well I had a loving, caring, 2-parent, 1-sister family (and the obligatory 1.3 dogs). The societal assumption is, if you like boys, write of boys, or say ' damn... is that 10year old ever CUTE!' you will be assumed to be a monster. As has been stated here already, there is a knee-jerk hysterical response to what is, to me, simply what my body and mind react to most; the myriad wonders that is a Boy. So where does it come from? I have no idea.
Other than a stable 2-parent family, I can attest to much the same.
In your mention of the word sexuality, though, you bring up the old $64 Question are boys nothing more than an object of lust? Do you have the sense to see the line? And are your interactions with boys mutually beneficial, or selfish? Objectively, we can look at this here without the condemnation that Society at large would immediately begin screaming about. Its the knee-jerk reflex you also mention. Hopefully, this comment can foster discussion and not emotional flaming. In mentioning sexuality, you also state that you see this line, however. Most of Society probably wouldnt see you seeing the line, though, is what Im getting at it.
As I once told the mother of one of my boys friends, Madame, were I after your son, I would have come and collected him 2 years ago.
I do know that I knew my prefe
StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:41 pm
rence at an early age. I clearly remember at age 9 and 10 being absolutely DRAWN to other boys my age and younger. Is it an accident of the maturation process that I/we simply dont grow beyond this? Or is it no more than simply another sexuality, gay, straight, bi, child-lover? Or is it simply that this period of time, in this crazy, hyper-religious, overly-conservative hoity-toity world, humans are simply suppres
sing out of consciousness what used to be al
StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:41 pm
lowed to be freely thought; Boys really are quite amazingly beautiful,
but were just not allowed to think it?
I have read some academic theory (painful, at best, unless youre Jesus or Pueros!) about this subject. The ones I read, and I dont recall the sources because I didnt keep it, was about the urge to engage in homosexual experimentation with other boys while one is still a boy. Think mutual masturbation, etc., use your imagination
The premise of the paper was that boys who DO engage in this behavior often outgrow it and evolve into well-adjusted heterosexuals later in life. Those who are denied this, or get caught at it and are punished, may fixate on it and never outgrow it. While it sounds good in theory, Im not so convinced.
As Stefan mentions, at an early age, being drawn to other boys same age or younger happens to some boys. I can relate to this, in that all of the other boys in my neighborhood(s) while I was growing up were younger than I was. This, after being left behind by the couple of older friends I had. That didnt bother me at all. It left me as the ring leader, the one who knew about things, and the one who could fix things or come up with a good plan or excuse when trouble hit. One other factor may be not fitting in too well with ones peers and seeking friendship in the younger sect, where acceptance may come easier for the older boy.
Perhaps since we now have more intense and fantastical media coverage of events, we are more aware of what goes on here and there in our Society. We are more aware, we are better informed, and our imaginations run rampant.
Take, for instance, something like The Boy Scouts. What keeps a man in that role, even after his own son is grown and out of it? What gets him into it in the first place? My own Scouting career ended at the age of 20, as an Assistant Scoutmaster, when a couple of close friends parents of other boys in the Troop when I was growing up with them had a long talk with me about where they perceived things were going with organizations not limited to just Scouting. And they were right. Not long after I resigned, the Witch-Hunt began. Never mind the fact that married men and even Priests were later involved in scandals, fed to us by our heightened media coverage these days. Single men of questionable sexuality have only one agenda where young boys are concerned
right? Ha!
And so, gone were the days of being the leader, of imparting knowledge and perhaps even wisdom, to the younger set. At least for me. I could go on with anecdotes and stories about some of the more touchy adventures that were to be had in growing up in this role, but I wont. Suffice it to say, were some of the things that happened in our lives here made public today, I would no doubt be in prison and the boys (age irrelevant of any of them) would be in therapy or perhaps even institutionalized. None of this happened, because MY actions guided by what I thought was right and by my love of these boys were the right ones that proved in time to be RIGHT. But I am now another statistic of someone who bailed out, taking with him all of the good that he could have done for the benefit of Society.
OK, one story I ran into one of these younger boys not long ago, now a grown man and married with several children. He didnt recognize me until I spoke up and said something about a passing boys haircut to Auntie, whom I was out with shopping. He recognized my voice. This man is what evolved from the frightened little boy at camp whom I moved into my tent in the adult compound when his tentmate went home sick and he was afraid to stay by himself. This aircraft mechanic was the small 11 year old boy who learned, after crawling into MY sleeping bag in a tearful panic, that camp skunks can be hand-fed and are not a threat. And this burly, rough-sounding fine example of Rockwellian Americana used to be the short, skinny little boy that was scared to the point of hysteria during thunderstorms and had anxiety attacks when someone mentioned shower house. Note this is an issue that MUST be cured, especially in humid, hot, Midwest summers at camp! I cured it. How I cured it would probably land me in jail today, but in the long run, it seems that everything turned out fine.
StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:41 pm
What happens when society crushes out any ability for a coach to hug a player, a teacher to do the same? You get future grownups who don't hug either. And thats a shame, and many people, on reading me say that, would say "What does a PEDOPHILE know of hugs?!" Let me tell you what we know of them. They are, for me, anyway, the height of what I can do, of what I can express, of how I can show how I love someone. They are the only thing I can, if irregularly, do that is actual, real 'contact' with the human form which my mind and body react to. And yes, horror of horrors, I do know two boys that I can spend time with, always in the yard in public or with their parents. But I go away from those meetings happy. A cuddle on the couch, a hug... its all I can expect, and I love every time one of them comes to me and, by his actions, says, 'I know you like me. And I like that, and I'm relaxed enough to cuddle up.' I'm the monster your neighbors kicked out, A-1. I'm like the 'uncle' you talked of, Pueros. Am I ashamed, frightened for my soul? No. Part of my castration fantasy comes from the (imagined) freedom I would have after being neutered to then be a closer friend to a boy. And yes, a part of it is the idea of preserving childhood in a boy, but thats fantasy... And, like any good, salary-earning, monster-among-the-lambs of society, I can tell the difference between fact and fiction.
We have indeed become a Society that is paranoid to one extreme or the other. And not only with children. Recently, I submitted a photo of a large crowd at a local festival to a contest. It came back stating, as stupid as this sounds, that I required over 5,000 signed model releases to use this image! No one was big enough to identify! They were out-of-depth colored shapes that were people. Period. We also had one parent of a child walk out angry at our business because our system used digital video proofing so that poses can be ordered RIGHT when they are shot. She refused to have her childs portrait done because of the digital media used, and the fact that we keep negatives thereafter, as well as files. She objected to the sample image on the wall of a boy in only a swimsuit with a beach background and props.
Last week, thanks in part to people like her, the business closed and locked the doors.
Just this last football season, I was employed by the league to do team pictures. MY boy helped. I also did game shots of action. I wont be doing it again, as too many parents objected to me taking pictures mainly of MY kid on the field. Their kids were in the shot, you see, and thats wrong to do now. One happy parent who bought a shot of his kid being tackled was even screamed at by another parent of a boy in shot, in that HE had no business with a picture of HIS kid in the shot that was mainly of another boy. Society has gone mad. And I am the evil one who took the pictures, thus bringing down suspicion upon myself.
Oh well, its not the first time!
Speaking of the coach having physical contact with the players
yes, its a tricky subject. When I was in college, I read some books on the importance of touch to children not only by parents, but the sense of touch overall for a research paper. What we are denying now will, in the future, have a not so good outcome if what those scholars wrote about touching is true. Is it wrong for a coach to hug a player? Is anything more than a handshake or high-five wrong? But its a fact that if a coach even TALKS to the boys about something that can be sexually skewed, then hes in for it. Recently, and the link is now gone, there was a story in the news about a little league coach who had the talk with his son and some of the boys friends from the team. He wound up in jail. Sad.
Ive also been confronted with the logic of a mother that said, Anyone who coaches is a child molester, thats why they do it.
Was this man a pedophile then? It seems that Society deemed his as one. And at what cost? What lesson did this teach the boys involved? That there is shame in being possession of male genitalia
that its wrong to talk about being male
that its wrong to be involved with children, and wrong to spend time with them
that every man who seems to care about them is a monster? Probably.
Sadly, this is the direction that Society is headed in.
One can only wonder how many children out there, boys or girls, will end up in a situation much like mine in childhood. Had it not been for my adult friend,
Paolo wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2005 12:05 pm
I would not have survived childhood.
Now, relationships like this are rapidly becoming something evil that must be stopped. Was my friend by whatever definition dangerous to me? No. What was more damaging were the steps taken - by those who knew better - to end it.
So, is it our widespread media that make us more aware of the problems now, or the fact that we have a generation that has been/is being deprived of affection and positive attention? If affection is NOT OK then, whats left? Violence.
Hell, you hardly ever see a child get any kind of affection in books
StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:41 pm
or films these days. Its gotten that bad.
Which is why I read the stories. Yes, I do read them also for the moral lessons, and other lessons. Many of them have alot to say about society, and the eunuch groups place in it. But I also, of course, read for a more base reason. I know you guys have said here many times that you write to make a point. But a lot of the stories are also... erotic. Its an outlet. This archive offers MUCH MORE than just this erotic, sexual outlet, and for that I'm
VERY glad. This thread is proof
StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:41 pm
of that.
Glad we could help.
I'm grateful for this chance to talk like this. I can't believe I'm doing it... this stuff is not something I
have had much chance to talk bout, ever.
Usually not a dinner table topic, no, but one that does need to be discussed.