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Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 11:43 pm
by XtheUndead (imported)
Well, one definite symptom of my hormonal/emotional/whatever-it-is condition is that I tend to act on rash impulses (you might say I go off half-cocked!) and that is a big part of why I am here, to get talked down. You guys are great.
In that regard, one poster who worried me a lot as I rummaged around here was Johnny_60016 who said he was going to get cut this October, wanting it for the experience although he knew perfectly well he would want his penis back immediately. Do you guys know if he's a fantasizer who would never follow through or if he's had something done to himself? Either way, is he OK?
Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:03 am
by kristoff
XtheUndead (imported) wrote: Sun Oct 28, 2007 11:43 pm
Well, one definite symptom of my hormonal/emotional/whatever-it-is condition is that I tend to act on rash impulses (you might say I go off half-cocked!) and that is a big part of why I am here, to get talked down. You guys are great.
In that regard, one poster who worried me a lot as I rummaged around here was Johnny_60016 who said he was going to get cut this October, wanting it for the experience although he knew perfectly well he would want his penis back immediately. Do you guys know if he's a fantasizer who would never follow through or if he's had something done to himself? Either way, is he OK?
Keep in mind that the VERY large majority here are strictly fantasizers. Of those that believe they are serious, most will not or cannot, for whatever reason, carry through. A Scientific Wild Assed Guess (principle of SWAG), based on data generated by the survey study conducted here 2 years ago, and recently published, would suggest that about 5% of folks here are actually nullo or eunuch, 90% being the eunuch variety. That would include voluntary as well as involuntary. Jesus may be able to give more accurate figures. I would doubt Johnny_60016 actually did anything - though I could eaily be wrong.
Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 6:29 pm
by XtheUndead (imported)
kristoff wrote: Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:03 am
Jesus may be able to give more accurate figures.
Or his Dad, maybe
Yeah, I would have guessed he was strictly a fantasizer, but I thought I would ask in case someone knew something.
My case is about the same. I'm angered that I have a fresh zit on my forehead, even though it's a little one: I'm 51 not 15
And I'm depressed that my left nut has been achy most of the day; a friend said I was looking very tired, and that worries me because I usually don't let anything show. I don't think anybody in my life knows any of this (it's such a relief to have a place to talk where my only worry about fitting it is that I might be too close to "normal" for some people's tastes!)
mrt (imported) wrote: Sun Oct 28, 2007 10:22 pm
Please consider seeing at least one GP and getting labs done if nothing else. And ASK for the results and get back to us with them. I don't think we have any Doctors here but we know what is "wrong" and what is normal in some cases anyway. And some of these labs say "Everything is normal" which is insane.
Yes, I am definitely going to find a doctor. And I promise to get back to you, MrT, you are a gentleman and a scholar.
Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 6:59 pm
by XtheUndead (imported)
plix (imported) wrote: Sun Oct 28, 2007 12:40 pm
I had my balls off at 20 (now 22), and while I don't regret it in the slightest (that actually changes from time to time - I have phases where I regret it more than the slightest), there are things about it that I am not especially fond of.
Plix, you make me a little sad. You really didn't have enough time to know what it was you were giving up. Me, I've had my fun, all I can stand and then some.
Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:11 pm
by twaddler (imported)
"
XtheUndead (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 29, 2007 6:59 pm
Me, I've had my fun, all I can stand and then some.
"
Lack of testicle(s) or testosterone != funlessness.
Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:48 pm
by plix (imported)
XtheUndead (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 29, 2007 6:59 pm
Plix, you make me a little sad. You really didn't have enough time to know what it was you were giving up. Me, I've had my fun, all I can stand and then some.
I probably did miss out on quite a bit by giving them up so early, but there were a lot of reasons, including some gender issues I had at the time. In that situation the sooner they are gone, the better - the T really masculinizes you over the years. Not having them can be a lot of fun too though
Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:41 am
by DonFL (imported)
normal for WHAT is the question, Mine were normal, for a bull in rut, 3900ng/dl. if your normal for a 16yo and are 45 or so, tha isnt normal. Yes, im one of the rare true hyper-androgisim patients, im me if you want to know more.
XtheUndead (imported) wrote: Sun Oct 28, 2007 7:16 pm
I did have detailed blood work done, back a dozen years or so ago. Things might have changed, but I tend to doubt it has changed much: all hormones were within normal ranges, which somewhat disappointed me because I really wanted an answer for such things as, why was I still getting puberty-level acne when I was pushing 40? (that, at least, has eased though not gone away). Apparently what I have is "androgen hypersensitivity", an abundance of biochemical receptors that makes a little go a long way; unfortunately, while there is a fair amount of literature on androgen insensitivity (presents early, as some degree of intersex despite normal XY chromosomes), there is little about the other direction.
Of course, although I am educated and a good researcher, I am not a doctor and don't really know w-t-f I am talking about (not that I am always convinced doctors do either). I am the kind of imaginative hypochondriac (comes from a chronically sickly childhood) that doctors find a nightmare to deal with: once, getting ready for bed, I saw a dark purple spot with blotchy margins on my chest; rapidly diagnosed aggressive melanoma; weighed the pros and cons of spending months in miserable chemo for a low-percentage prognosis; decided I'd rather accept that I was dying and max out my credit cards travelling around; and was working on who to give away all my stuff to before I looked at my shirt and found that a Bic pen had burst. (OK, I'm exaggerating this story.. but only a little.)
I was referred for the bloodwork by my second psychiatrist. The first, Sandy, put me on Prozac for my depression, which was terrible because it gave me boners that would neither shoot off nor go down, then switched it to Paxil which worked better. Raul continued the Paxil and added Welbutrin, the combo working better on the depression than either alone: and when I was unemployed, broke, and uninsured, he kept seeing me for $35 a session (effectively $0 but he knew I would feel better about it if it wasn't $0) and gave me both the meds out of the samples the salesmen leave-- great guy, so I know there are good doctors out there.
But I still fear that if I tell a doctor about the testicular pain (and the lack of mention here about any good therapy for it tends to confirm the fear), that he will just tell me "Live with it, or cut them off", and if I tell him I would rather have all or nothing, he will say "What, are you nuts?"
cutting them off isnt so bad, you get to be 100% in control of your own hormones. i feel better than ever in my life.
Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 6:58 am
by kristoff
"
"
Lack of testicle(s) or testosterone != funlessness.
That is rather self-limiting. Get out of your pants, and back into your head, and be a bit creative. Just think, what can you do with a door knob, for example?....
Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 8:53 am
by XtheUndead (imported)
kristoff wrote: Tue Oct 30, 2007 6:58 am
f testicle(s) or testosterone !=
Sorry, didn't mean it that way.
Mine were normal, for a bull in rut, 3900ng/dl. if your normal for a 16yo and are 45 or so, tha isnt normal. Yes, im one of the rare true hyp
er-androgisim patients, im me if you want to know more.
My problem is that while I have some of the symptoms of hyper-androgen, I didn't actually have overly high levels, at least last I checked. So I don't really know what is going on with me, but somehow doubt it is purely psychosomatic.
Anyhow, as people keep telling me, I have to get to an MD for testing. I think I will go back to Raul first and tell him what's been happening to me these past few years (I was never to get as deep with him about sexual frustrations as with Sandy, probably because Sandy was female, but now that I've dumped it out once, I think it will be easier to say it out loud). I don't know how to go about finding a doctor who takes uninsured patients, but Raul will be able to give me a referral, so that seems like the best strategy.
Re: Just need to talk it out
Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 8:54 am
by mrt (imported)
plix (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:48 pm
I probably did miss out on quite a bit by giving them up so early, but there were a lot of reasons, including some gender issues I had at the time. In that situation the sooner they are gone, the better - the T really masculinizes you over the years. Not having them can be a lot of fun too though
For those that think I'm one dimension Mr T all about testosterone all the time? Surprise! I agree with Plix. If your are serious about gender and transition the earlier you act the better. Maybe (better) is not the right word. More easily the transition is made? More complete?
I don't know that I can ever really say that male HRT is the "same" as getting it from your testicles. Or that a male using Estrogen will be the same as a women with working Ovaries but... I don't see why not? In my case I don't know how long mine were not doing the job right but I do feel great now and I think that once you get on a good dose and stay there for a few months (Regardless of the type male/female) your going to feel better.
I think one problem is that it doesn't work overnight. In my case it didn't even work in a week or two. "Some" stuff felt better in 3 days but it took me months to get rolling right. And I think that if you levels are going up/down and crazy lows or highs? Your going to be miserable...
And I'm depressed that my left nut has been achy most of the day; a friend said I was looking very tired, and that worries me because I usually don't let anything show. I don't think anybody in my life knows any of this (it's such a relief to have a place to talk where my only worry about fitting it is that I might be too close to "normal" for some people's tastes!)