They walk AMONG US!

[A-1 (imported)]

My favorite incident was going into a doughnut shop and asking for SIX doughnuts. The young clerk told me that he could only sell them by the single doughnut for by the dozen or half dozen. He couldn't sell me six of them because the cash register didn't have six programmed into it....

Maybe he was confused.

A Baker's Dozen does not divide evenly...

...or, most probably, his marijuana had too much THC in it...

[tugon (imported)]

Two local examples;

A gentleman pulled up to the gas pump and filled his tank, walked into the station and grabbed some beer and walked up to the cashier. When it was his time he demanded all the money in the register and left with cash, beer and a full tank. He was apprehended quickly since he scanned his rewards card before filling his tank.

Today I was walking behind two gentlemen at a bookstore and overheard the one man state that his wife was helping him by correcting him grammically. He was starting a new business and wanted to speak more professionally. I began to chuckle and hoped he was on his way home for a lesson.

[incuse (imported)]

Two local examples;

A gentleman pulled up to the gas pump and filled his tank, walked into the station and grabbed some beer and walked up to the cashier. When it was his time he demanded all the money in the register and left with cash, beer and a full tank. He was apprehended quickly since he scanned his rewards card before filling his tank.

that reminds me of something that happened years ago in my home town. A criminal went to People's bank and used a Hancock bank deposit slip with his demand for money written on it. The teller told him that they couldn't accept hancock bank deposit slips and told him where the closest hancock bank was located. People's bank then called Hancock and the police were involved. The guy showed up at Hancock bank and was quickly arrested... I can't recall if he used his own deposit slip or not, but I wouldn't have doubted it.

[jemagirl (imported)]

I have a great deal of respect for people in the military and for people raising kids, but that doesn't mean you don't run into one or two that make you scratch your head. I remember working a flight from INCIRLIK AIR BASE, Turkey to RAMSTEIN AIR BASE, Germany back when I was working for World Airways as a flight attendant.

There were a lot of families with children making the trip so we made a point of announcing that diapers must be disposed of in the trash and not flushed down the laves. About half way through the flight I walked into the aft galley to find a woman trying to stuff a very full diaper into one of the ice carts...

I politely explained that she needed to put the diaper in the trash at which point she tried to hand it to me. When I refused to take the diaper she got very upset. Finally after escorting her to the opening of the trash receptacle she understood what she needed to do. After she returned to her seat I mentioned the incident to one of my fellow crew members who said "She tried to do it again? I just told her a minute ago my self!"

I just couldn't believe that one person could be so dense and so I had my friend discreetly point out the person he had caught trying to put a diaper in the food cart. As it turns out it was not the same person but they were sitting in the same row and were apparently traveling together. I wondered if they were related or just friends but decided it would probably be best not to ask.

[twaddler (imported)]

"put a diaper in the food cart."

Disgusting. Laziness, fo' sho'.

[devi (imported)]

The reay sad thing is that dirty diapers end up just about anywhere (believe it or not). Pick-ups, roof tops, shopping carts, restroom sinks, picnic tables, under chairs, roadside curbs, etc.

[Riverwind (imported)]

I have a (must I say this) a daughter in law that moved in with me with my son and there baby. I explained that diapers when out the back door into a trash bucked I set up there and it would be taken to the trash daily. Then this stupid person, changed my grandson and left the diaper on the floor. I explained that it belonged in the trash and for her to mover her ass now and take care of it. You guest it, she put it in the inside kitchen trash can. I then explained to her that if that diaper did not find its way out of my kitchen she would be out on the street.

Yes, they walk among us.

The only thing I can figure is that he married her because she has big tits, because it was not for her brains.

Footnote: Neither one are ever to be allowed in my house again, ever.

River

[Paolo]

I just went around with an old lady at work yesterday about copying/restoring a large photo. It was odd size. She couldn't find a frame to replace the old one, which was falling apart. The glass was broken too. First she went to the print shop. They print stuff, like fliers, text documents, etc. They are NOT a photo lab. They have a large sign up - "WE ARE NOT A PHOTO LAB". After an hour - they called me up to warn me - here she comes...

An hour later, she left our store. She almost backed into the fence, then pulled out into traffic and narrowly missed being hit broadside. It took me an hour to explain to her that:

1. We do not repair the original photo.

2. We do not build custom frames. The frame shop does.

3. We do not cut custom glass - the glass shop does.

4. It costs $15 to make an 11x14 off of any print.

5. Restoration is not free. To restore it, I was gentle at $50.

6. I have to get the print OUT of the old frame to work with it.

7. No, I cannot magically fix broken glass, but I can bleed all over it.

8. No, I will not put new screws in a 1919 hand-made frame. See #2.

9. I will call when it's ready.

10. Yes, it will be evenly 11x14 when I am done. You can buy those frames anywhere, NEW.

11. Repeat conversation about 5 times...

"Do I call you when it's ready?"

"No, I'll call you."

"Well, I'll call tomorrow."

"You do that, sister, because I won't answer the phone if you do."

"I think $15 is too much to do that."

At that point, I handed her a bill for $100, citing labor, hazardous waste disposal, etc., and almost gave her a heart attack!

Then it was back to "restoration is not free". No, we do not repair the original photo...

And to think, she's out there loose with a driver's license...

[Paolo]

Diapers?

I change diapers.

I'm a photo lab tech / digital imaging tech, and I work on cameras.

But I CAN change a diaper. It's now part of the studio package.

Some weeks ago, as I was telling Jesus, this dizzy lady came in with a just-turned-2 year old boy and a huge obese Doberman. The dog thought he was a lapdog. Luckily, he liked me. He sat on my lap while they photog'd the boy in the studio. He tried to eat the computer mouse. Then he decided my face needed washed. The phone rang. He grabbed it and ran...then he had to go outside to potty...

When they were done with the boy, she hands him off to me - covered in dog drool and hair already, so they can photog. the dog.

About 10 minutes into that, the kid loads his diaper. He looks at me, while we're sitting there looking at pictures on the PC, and he says in all innocence, "I pooped!" I notify the mother - she says, "OH! The diaper bag's in the van." My boss says, "Change him, would you?" (She's a friend of his.) So ask the kid, "You know, the dog went outside to poop?"

"Dat potty chair?" He asks.

"No, you need a new diaper," I tell him.

"Ow-shide?" He asked, (outside?)

"Yeah, we'll change it outside in the van." I said.

So I did.

OH MY GOD! What did she feed this kid?!

I've raised 5 boys and I've only seen diapers like this when one of them was ill. I tossed it over the fence into the drive-thru lane of the sandwich shop, too. (We don't get along well.)

So now I have the kid cleaned up (poor little guy, I hope puberty is kind to him!) and it's time to photog. him and the dog together. I handed the kid over and went home...

[tugon (imported)]

Diapers?

I change diapers.

I'm a photo lab tech / digital imaging tech, and I work on cameras.

But I CAN change a diaper. It's now part of the studio package.

Some weeks ago, as I was telling Jesus, this dizzy lady came in with a just-turned-2 year old boy and a huge obese Doberman. The dog thought he was a lapdog. Luckily, he liked me. He sat on my lap while they photog'd the boy in the studio. He tried to eat the computer mouse. Then he decided my face needed washed. The phone rang. He grabbed it and ran...then he had to go outside to potty...

When they were done with the boy, she hands him off to me - covered in dog drool and hair already, so they can photog. the dog.

About 10 minutes into that, the kid loads his diaper. He looks at me, while we're sitting there looking at pictures on the PC, and he says in all innocence, "I pooped!" I notify the mother - she says, "OH! The diaper bag's in the van." My boss says, "Change him, would you?" (She's a friend of his.) So ask the kid, "You know, the dog went outside to poop?"

"Dat potty chair?" He asks.

"No, you need a new diaper," I tell him.

"Ow-shide?" He asked, (outside?)

"Yeah, we'll change it outside in the van." I said.

So I did.

OH MY GOD! What did she feed this kid?!

I've raised 5 boys and I've only seen diapers like this when one of them was ill. I tossed it over the fence into the drive-thru lane of the sandwich shop, too. (We don't get along well.)

So now I have the kid cleaned up (poor little guy, I hope puberty is kind to him!) and it's time to photog. him and the dog together. I handed the kid over and went home...

I think you are up for employee of the month.