Sander -- the conclusion

[curious_guy (imported)]

Part nine was real good. I enjoyed that the lives of the slaves were more developed in this issue. can't wait for the next one.

Do you think I used too many science fictional elements?

[Chaos (imported)]

no not really. The idea of data crystals is something that is actually very possible.

Fiber optics itself is the use of bending light over a strecth of tubing using something that I think is called internal reflection or refraction or something big that I can't pronounce let alone spell. Thus the idea of light bouncing inside a crystal and being used to store data is entirely possible.

I enjoyed the sci fi that was added. I also enjoyed the fact that you put a lock and chain on the collar. LOL, that kid had it coming. Keep up the great work bud...if i can call you that master. lol.

*ben's slave wanna be....yep that's me

[dixon (imported)]

[FONT=Times New Roman]I especially appreciate showing up Sander's father for being the heel that he is. Well done chapter! It is, of course, unfortunate to see Sander losing so much of his innocence, but I suspect that he will develope to persona: personal, which remains loving, trusting and innocent with Chris and Matti, and a professional where he "performs" magnificently, no one will suspect that he is walling himself off, he won;t appear to be acting mechanically. I think it may be a hoot to have him totally seduce Ben and give him the sex of his scumbag life! Slammr:

[Paolo]

So far, so good - both versions and continuations.

Thanks to both writers!

One minor subplot I'd like to see resolved by someone sometime...

A slave named Peter was mentioned once in a previous chapter. He's not happy, and they're losing money on him because after one appointment, no one wants him again.

A couple of paragraphs to resolve this "vanishing" character (hopefully happily) would be nice.

[curious_guy (imported)]

So far, so good - both versions and continuations.

Thanks to both writers!

One minor subplot I'd like to see resolved by someone sometime...

A slave named Peter was mentioned once in a previous chapter. He's not happy, and they're losing money on him because after one appointment, no one wants him again.

A couple of paragraphs to resolve this "vanishing" character (hopefully happily) would be nice.

Actually it was Henry that Ben is losing money on. I have written more about Henry in chapter 11 and 12.

[Slammr (imported)]

[FONT=Times New Roman]I especially appreciate showing up Sander's father for being the heel that he is. Well done chapter! It is, of course, unfortunate to see Sander losing so much of his innocence, but I suspect that he will develope to persona: personal, which remains loving, trusting and innocent with Chris and Matti, and a professional where he "performs" magnificently, no one will suspect that he is walling himself off, he won;t appear to be acting mechanically. I think it may be a hoot to have him totally seduce Ben and give him the sex of his scumbag life! Slammr:

Sander could be at a turning point. Here are some possibilities: He sees little of Matti because Matti's training other slaves and becomes bitter, hating his life as a slave. He might treat his clients poorly and be consigned to a brothel for a while, eventually earning his way back to the island.

If he just becomes a happy slave, there isn't much of a story left. It just becomes a fuck story involving a kid, and I wouldn't be comfortable writing such a story. There's noting wrong with happy endings, but if there's no conflict in between, I can't see it would be much of a story. In my version, he's already been nullified, so now he needs to be put in jeopardy some other way.

In many ways, Sander has become a community story, so I'm open to suggestions.

[curious_guy (imported)]

A couple of paragraphs to resolve this "vanishing" character (hopefully happily) would be nice.

Would you like me to email you the paragraphs I have written about Henry so that you can comment on them before I submit the chapters?

[Paolo]

No, that's OK.

Surprise me.

I don't know why I got the name wrong.

Probably the joke about naming your twin boys "Pete" and "Repeat" that was stuck in my head from the other day.

[Paolo]

Slammr-

Another possibility is someone steals Sander from the island, smuggles him off, and Matti and the gang go after him in direct violation of orders not to.

This could introduce a rival faction of Dealers, etc., perhaps someone whom Ben refused service to once.

[curious_guy (imported)]

In many ways, Sander has become a community story, so I'm open to suggestions.

Someone emailed me and suggested that a client request that Sander have a finger, toe, arm or leg amputated and that Ben agree to it.

I am not comfortable with this but you might want to do it.