I'm finally accepting that my pelvic pain is probably going to be with me for much of my life. I have some very good days that are nearly pain free. Then there the other days. I'm learning how to increase the number of good days. I have to limit certain activities that I used to enjoy and work within other limitations. Like how much I drive.

It's been difficult for me to cope with this pain that is essentially a chronic illness. By not accepting this reality, I have made the situation more difficult. At times, I've skimped on my physical therapy exercises because I seemed to be improving. Several times, I've seen that this was a mistake. After 10 months of pain, though, the best thing for me to do is learn how I can best live with this. I remain hopeful that I will see further improvement. Maybe one day, in the not too distant future, I will have figured out the best means to manage my pain. It will be through trial and error, but might lead to relatively pain free living.

Living with chronic pain is affecting my job search and, perhaps, my performance at interviews. I'm learning how to best manage interviews while in pain. After reading an account of women living and working while dealing with chronic autoimmune diseases, I better understand how fear and anger about one's condition are normal. What I need to do is accept my fear and concern while realizing I can get beyond them. One writer described this as becoming the 'warrior woman.'

In many ways, this is like transitioning genders. I had to push beyond my fears to get to where I needed to be. I was able to do that. This gives me confidence that I can do it again under new circumstances.

Still no positive news on the job front. I was turned down for 4 of the 5 permament jobs I was waiting on. I should hear on the last tomorrow. I'm getting very concerned about my situation, after 10 months of looking. Even panicked at times. If I were able to move more easily, I would have taken an out-of-state job by now. If I were able to sit for hours, I might have taken a friend's offer on a different type of job, outside of information technology. There are several things I hate about being unemployed; I have had lots of experience with this over the last three years. I miss feeling like I'm a contributing member of society. I feel like my life is on hold until I land another job; I want my life to return to some sense of 'normal.' I want to feel that I am providing for myself rather than collecting unemployment. I am truly stressed out. Yet I always manage a good night's sleep and I am thankful for that.

So why is this taking so long? I'm not positive, but I suspect several things:

Job postings in my field are no more than 1/4 to 1/3 as many this year as they were last year

Companies are holding back on hiring because of political and economic (e.g., fiscal cliff) uncertainties

The demand for my part of information technology is much lower than it is for developers, system architects, etc. - so when an unemployment rate for IT is quoted as 3%, the number is skewed lower by those high demand fields - the unemployment rate in my area may be 9% or higher - more than one agency recruiter has said a variation on "I have people in your field coming out of my ears" - I've been told by several hiring managers that they are interviewing 10 - 15 people at the final interview

Job postings tend to look for very specific software and experience sets - it can be very difficult to meet those requirements. In a strong economy, employers cannot be so picky,

These factors are why I'm also scrambling to find another line of work that builds on my experience.

__________________________________________________ ________________________________________

My niece and I have been emailing each other. In her last note, she asked how the rest of the family (a total of four people ) have reacted to my transition. I just answered that note, which she sent over a month ago. I waited because I knew it would be very painful to answer her question. Then, too, I wanted to be careful on how I worded this, because three of the four people are in her immediate family.

Hang in there!

Thanks Paolo!

I'm doing much, much better today. I am going to start aggressively pursuing jobs in other parts of the country. I've been holding back on that because long drives are still difficult for me. My concern is that I will undo the progress I've made in reducing my pelvic pain. I need to eat, though.

You know you need some good luck for a change, I wish you lots of it.

River

Thanks River.

Job activity here seems to be increasing a bit. Beyond the Twin Cities, I may be offered a 4-month contract in Bloomington, IL (NB: not the Bloomington with the Mall of Death!). This one would be a bit outside my usual job path, but I'd consider it for two reasons:

1. I'd be working again!

2. I'd be getting back closer to Chicago

Just not sure it's the best idea, though.

Go for it!! I read some great advice once: Read obituaries. You learn that the most interesting lives are not linear affairs.

Good luck.

Great point, Arab Nights! I'm keeping my options open. Thanks for the good wishes, too.

I'm also applying for an even more divergent career path at my undergraduate college. I'll finish that application this weekend.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:30 pm __________________________________________________ _______________________________

Two friends - both from this site - came through with great ideas/offers.

One was a very generous, thoughtful offer of assistance in helping me move long distance, freeing me to fly to a new job location. This would lessen the strain on my still painful pelvis. I am very grateful, although I may not need her help.

The other was an idea. I was not thinking (as happens rather regularly!), which meant I was not watching, and damaged the driver side mirror as I was pullng my car out of the garage. I was distracted by my job concerns (is this a rationalization or what??). Result: the mirror was left hanging by a thread (actually the adjustment cord). I did not want to spend the money on a replacement. I was retelling my predicament to a friend here who suggested duct tape. As he described it, men prefer duct tape women prefer WD-40. Even I could figure out that WD-40 would be of no help. My roommate and I got out the duct tape and fixed the mirror. All is well!

I thought duct tape and WD-40 were not gender-preferential.

Moves, and shouldn't: duct tape.

Doesn't move and should: WD-40.

If only getting a suitable job were that easy.

I hope it will be for you, and soon!

I love your response, janekane! Thanks for the good wishes. "I get by with a little help from my friends!" Most definitely.