Funny Signs...

[Charis (imported)]

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car!

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

SPOTTED ON A SIGN IN SCOTLAND: Eat here and you'll never live to regret it.

[coinflipper_21 (imported)]

You would think that the English would be more careful with this stuff. After all, they did invent the language.

[calmeilles (imported)]

But it' so easy to be wrong in English.

When I went to University we had a language test that was formed of 100 sentences which might have had a semantic ambiguity or grammatical error in them. The point of the test was to detect the fault, if any, and provide a correction.

Two I recall are "I have discussed filling all five hundred deep freezes with my colleagues." Which has often struck me as a good idea.

And "To boldly go where no man..." which I trust everyone understands why some would say is wrong and why no one would correct.

The awful thing is that of 98 students studying double honours in English and History only six of us passed the test at the first attempt.

Passing was a course requirement and eventually everyone did. But some only after sitting the same paper once a fortnight for two terms and having the "pass" mark reduced to whatever the worst of them could manage.

[Kortpeel (imported)]

You would think that the English would be more careful with this stuff. After all, they did invent the language.

You'd think so. They don't speak it very well either. Haven't you ever seen a tv show in English but with sub titles as well in case you couldn't understand the language?

In one case I was on shift in South Africa and we had a Scot fresh out from Glasgow join our team. The locals who were all second language speakers apart from me asked me to interpret for them. I couldn't understand him either.

Pity because he was a nice chap and likeable. In the end I told our new colleague to "speak posh, like what they does on the radio."

After a year or so he was speaking the most beautiful English. Trouble for him was when he went back for a holiday. His friends and family accused him of "putting it on," trying to get above himself. Ah the British class system!

Kortpeel

[Arab Nights (imported)]

At work once I and the other Yankees would translate Australian into Southern.