Aunt Karen

[JesusA (imported)]

Everyone probably has an Aunt Karen in the family closet. They're just afraid to admit it in public....

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

'Tony, do you have a story to share?'

'Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy Territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.'

'She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.'

'She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.'

'Good Heavens' said the horrified teacher. 'What kind of moral did your Daddy tell you from this horrible story?'

'Stay the fuck away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking.'

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

LMAO

I doubt if I had an Aunt Karen but I have no doubt that Jesus and Kristoff had one

[kennath7 (imported)]

Aunt Karen sounds like my kind of woman

[twaddler (imported)]

LOL.. i love it.

[fhunter]

Wow... I like it..

[Daughter (imported)]

Ok I actually do have an Aunt Karen... She's not all that bad when she's drinkin' tho... Of course I've never pissed her off while drunk either!

[kristoff]

Ok I actually do have an Aunt Karen... She's not all that bad when she's drinkin' tho... Of course I've never pissed her off while drunk either!

While you were drunk, or she was?

[Daughter (imported)]

While you were drunk, or she was?

Either, come to think about it... And she and I have been drunk together on many occasions.. She and I used to take down at least two to three bottles of wine just the two of us at Christmas... We'd buy wine for everyone else and a few nice bottles of our favorites that we wouldn't share... but found empty the following morning. Ah yes, good times!

[BossTamsin (imported)]

There's a song by a Canadian comic called "Tonight's the Night" about getting kids getting their grandmother drunk that I keep meaning to try and record to put up on YouTube. One of the funniest songs ever. Reading the lyrics just doesn't do the song justice. One day I'll catch the song, and post it for everyone to see.