Rectal Express

[tugon (imported)]

Luckily I can laugh at some of life's situations in which I find myself involved.

For instance;

As I was leaving a grocery store yesterday my cell phone rang. A friend was calling about her elderly father. She sounded frantic but was not getting to the point of what she needed. Finally she told me he was impacted and could I help him. He was in a great deal of discomfort. "Of course" I said and drove straight to his house.

It certainly was not humorous that he was in such a situation but I began to wonder about a business offering such services. On my drive there I saw a Fed EX truck and that is how I came up with the name Rectal Express. Then I realized if such a business was to be created I would have to advertise. I would certainly need a jingle. What should I put on my business card? Lubed Glove will Travel, for instance. Pricing, I would have to figure out a pricing structure. Should I have a sign on the side of my car or would it be more discrete to have it unmarked? After all should the neighbors know if a customer is impacted again?

Oh and yes the path was cleared. So far a 100% success rate for a potential new business.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

Unfortunately, BROWN is already taken. Makes you FED UPS, right? How about Fudge Packers?

[curious_guy (imported)]

How about Fudge Packers?

Wouldn't that be "Fudge Unpackers"?

How about "Have Enema, Will Travel"?

Or "BM Express"?

[IbPervert (imported)]

How about...

The Finger...

Helping the world one finger at a time!

or

When it wont eject we will give you the finger.

[jemagirl (imported)]

"Rectal-Rooter" that's the name....

and away go fecaliths down the drain

[kristoff]

Oh, I so want to run with this. Memories of being 19, working a nursing home, dealing with an 86 YO double hip fracture with impaction.... "Oooooohhhhh, that hurts." Repeat episodically..... Never fucking again - and I was not on the "receiving" end' not that the other "end" was any better.

[A-1 (imported)]

THIS IS SUCH A SHITTY THREAD>>> :shakemitk

[jemagirl (imported)]

Remember....

When you can't make the move your self, you can rely on Rectal Express to make the move for you.

[Dave (imported)]

Have we started on the spiked egg-nog or last year's overly-boozed, heavily-preserved fruitcake? Or are we just guzzling from the bottle? It's not even December 1st.

[kb57z (imported)]

Have we started on the spiked egg-nog or last year's overly-boozed, heavily-preserved fruitcake? Or are we just guzzling from the bottle? It's not even December 1st.

Perhaps it's those funny mushrooms growing on the decomposing remains of the Halloween pumpkins....