They walk AMONG US!

[A-1 (imported)]

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up the $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again...same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. This actually happened in Austin at MoPac Boulevard and Parmer Lane .

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"

They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and

said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week" He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.

Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"

They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

Yep, They Walk Among Us!

They Walk Among Us, AND They Reproduce!!

[IbPervert (imported)]

For further proof that the majority of the people are IDIOTS amongst us! Watch Jay Leno's Jaywalking which he airs on occasion during his late night show.

Do you think President Bush Jr. knows he lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave?

hmmmmmm.... interesting question....

[Paolo]

"I just hate stupid people."

"Here's your sign".

I like to hand out pictures of the famous (well, if you know the Blue Collar Comedy Tour) author of that one. Amazing how few people know who he is. They need a sign.

I get this a lot. Seriously.

I was at K-Mart some time ago and I put the divider between orders on the conveyor belt. The girl grabbed it and tried to scan it. She said, "Sir, I have NO clue what this is, I'll have to call a manager." I put it back on the bar rack and told her that was OK, never mind. Everyone in line was snickering.

This is Indiana; obviously the clothing market for males is aimed at 2 groups - little boys and obese men. Recently, I lost weight. I had to replace my pants and underwear. I couldn't find anything in SMALL or even in a 30" waist. The rack was full of 40"+ pants, too. I asked a lady where I could find clothes for "normal sized men" or not-obese men. She looked lost. "My, you are a little one," she said. Have you considered boyswear?" Pardon me? I refuse to wear XL boys underwear...although they do fit. The Overlord does NOT wear SpongeBob printed briefs...

Same thing with shoes - am I the only man in this state who wears size 8? Back to school time and I'm sharing the aisle with 11 year olds...good grief.

I bought a pumpkin the other day with the intent of cooking it. The sign said $2.98 each. Each. It rang up $4.98. Half an hour later at the service desk, I had my $2...with the 2nd dollar in change...

And the list goes on...

[devi (imported)]

Where I live at the common stupid question is:

So, at what age do deer grow up to become elk?

And then there is the story of the cruise ship at an Alaskan port where someone walks onto shore and looking at the huge mountains asks:

So, what altitude are we? I can't hardly breath.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

My favorite when I was 1st Assistant Engineer of an excursion boat outfit: "What time does the four o'clock boat leave?". I got the question over and over and over. --FLO--

[tugon (imported)]

I work part-time in retail and it is always fun watching a stupid employee interact with a stupid customer. Battle of the half-wits.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

I had a frustrating time trying to buy a bus ticket in South America this summer. It took four tries.

At oone office I said I'd like to buy tickets for tomorrow afternoon's bus. She said, "We don't have one." I said, "But your sign says you do." She said, "So?" (Here's your sign).

At the next one, the lady also refused to sell tickets for the next day's bus. I asked why. She answered, "Because it is today." I was totally at loss for an answer.

[JesusA (imported)]

My favorite incident was going into a doughnut shop and asking for SIX doughnuts. The young clerk told me that he could only sell them by the single doughnut for by the dozen or half dozen. He couldn't sell me six of them because the cash register didn't have six programmed into it....

[Riverwind (imported)]

The only advantage is that some, just a few make the Darwin Awards and spare us from further stupidity.

Shaking my head,

River

[incuse (imported)]

So day before yesterday I was at Smoothie King. There, they have a promo for buy a $20 gift card and get a free smoothie. I figured I'd spend $20 soon, so I got the gift card to pay for my free smoothie.

I hand the smoothie jockey a gift card and tell him I want to load it with $20 so I can get the smoothie for free. So, he runs the card, gives me the card with receipt showing it had $20 loaded on to it. He then hands me my smoothie and stands back as if to say "ok, go away now.."

I wave my CC in front of him and he doesn't get the picture.... so I spell it out "I didn't pay for the gift card". "ohh", he says.

They walk among us!