Things a Naked Man Does Not Want to Hear

[wolfpuck (imported)]

Things a Naked Man Does Not Want to Hear

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.

2. Ahh, it's cute.

3. Who circumcised you?

4. Why don't we just cuddle?

5. You know they have surgery to fix that.

6. It's more fun to look at.

7. Make it dance.

8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.

9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?

10. It looks like a night crawler.

11. Wow, and your feet are so big.

12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.

13. It's ok, we'll work around it.

14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?

15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.

16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

17. Oh no, a flash headache.

18. (giggle and point)

19. Can I be honest with you?

20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.

21. Let me go get my tweezers.

22. How sweet, you brought incense.

23. This explains your car.

24. You must be a growing boy.

25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.

26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.

27. Are you one of those pygmies?

28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?

29. Every heard of clearasil?

30. All right, a treasure hunt!

31. I didn't know they came that small.

32. Why is God punishing you?

33. At least this won't take long.

34. I never saw one like that before.

35. What do you call this?

36. But it still works, right?

37. ####, I hate baby-sitting.

38. It looks so unused.

39. Do you take steroids?

40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.

41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.

44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?

45. Aww, it's hiding.

46. Are you cold?

47. If you get me real drunk first.

48. Is that an optical illusion?

49. What is that?

50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.

51. Were you neutered?

52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

53. Does it come with an air pump?

54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

55. Where are the puppet strings?

56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.

57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.

58. Never mind, why bother.

59. Is that a second belly button?

60. Where's the rest of it?

[sailorboy (imported)]

Hi,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on what a naked man does not want to hear. A few of them sounded familiar to me!!!

Best wishes,

Sailorboy

[Daughter (imported)]

Ha ha ha! Five of these phrases have actually come out of my mouth in the presence of a naked man...! I couldn't help it, it just kinda slipped out before I could stop myself!

[StefanIsMe (imported)]

Ha ha ha! Five of these phrases have actually come out of my mouth in the presence of a naked man...! I couldn't help it, it just kinda slipped out before I could stop myself!

I lay money that one of them was "Ahh! Its cute!"



It's distressingly ironic that I actually get turned on by such comments...

[twaddler (imported)]

I've heard #2 and #13 a couple times before. lol.. Back when I was 14/16/20. Also one to add to the list: I've seen smaller (what the 1st girlfriend I had sex with offered to console me with when we got naked together for the 1st time). That and: it happens to every man once in a while (erectile difficulties); it's okay. lol.. Good times.

[nokej41 (imported)]

Well, not really... I remember that meeting like this:

- We're lucky I left the cat outside

- Thank god that the rest of your body didn't stop growing at the age of six

- I have to search for the rest of it?

- To bad i'm not a vegetarian... all potatoes and no meat!

- Sorry to say... but you shouldn't have considered your Action Man as a role model...

[Daughter (imported)]

I lay money that one of them was "Ahh! Its cute!"



It's distressingly ironic that I actually get turned on by such comments...

If you must know...

#'s 4, 12, 24, 45 and yes, #2.

[wolfpuck (imported)]

lol Daughter. i've heard 4 and 12.