You know yours is a Redneck Church if...

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A-1 (imported)
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You know yours is a Redneck Church if...

Post by A-1 (imported) »

You know yours is a Redneck Church if:

Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5,000, the men want to know whether the

two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as "Branding."

There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a new church septic tank.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized wash tub.

The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob's Bar-B-Q, and are embroidered with his logo.

The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
kristoff
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Re: You know yours is a Redneck Church if...

Post by kristoff »

A-1 (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:33 am You know yours is a Redneck Church if:

Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5,000, the men want to know whether the

two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as "Branding."

There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a new church septic tank.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized wash tub.

The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob's Bar-B-Q, and are embroidered with his logo.

The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

I think I've been to one or two of these places. They do NOT have good communion wine. Shine just ain't the same...
Paolo
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Re: You know yours is a Redneck Church if...

Post by Paolo »

Praise the Lord and pass the snake...
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