Typically Texan (for Slammr)

[Studlover (imported)]

(Unfortunately, I can't post the pix that go with this which make it even funnier. For those of you who aren't from Texas, well, this is your first lesson in Texas mentality)

Rules of Texas :

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we

WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce!! Oh, yeah....We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San Antonio ....and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards --

it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Rice University , Texas Tech, Texas A&M or University of Texas . They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas ," If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:

" Texas can make it without the United States , but the United States

can't make it without Texas !"

Texas is the greatest state ever!! If you are from Texas you are one bad hombre!!! If you do not repost this in 10 min. you are not a true Texan!!!!!!

[Riverwind (imported)]

For those of you who dont know just exactly were Texas is.

On the east coast go west tell you smell it then south tell you step in it.

On the west coast go east.

Texas is a whole nother country. If you ever get to the Alamo it will become quite clear why they lost.

Texas is the only place I have ever been where when it rains, it rains mud. Nasty red stuff but if its just blowing it can travel right through glass and everything you have will be red.

Texas, home of big, big hats, bigs shoes, big trucks, big heads, big mouth's, you get the idea.

To really understand what Texas is like you have to live there a while, I had to live there 2 years, which was 3 years to long, the only good thing was watching Football back when the Cowboys were not Americas Team, like they ever were. When Dandy Don led them to the Ice bowl where they did meet Americas Team on the frozen tundra of Lambeau field. For those of you who dont know where that is, its in WISCONSIN.

Oh yes Texas, I could go on for days but I will say one thing for most of them and thats that there hart is as big as the rest of them.

This message was brought to you from

Riverwind of The Great State of Wisconsin

[kristoff]

Just reminds me to have the good grace to thank my momma for making sure that I was not born in the state of Texas..... They all have lousy Swedish accents.....

[Studlover (imported)]

Just reminds me to have the good grace to thank my momma for making sure that I was not born in the state of Texas..... They all have lousy Swedish accents.....

Yeah, and not to mention the lousy Swedish food.

Studlover

[Studlover (imported)]

For those of you who dont know just exactly were Texas is.

On the east coast go west tell you smell it then south tell you step in it.

On the west coast go east.

Texas is a whole nother country. If you ever get to the Alamo it will become quite clear why they lost.

Texas is the only place I have ever been where when it rains, it rains mud. Nasty red stuff but if its just blowing it can travel right through glass and everything you have will be red.

Texas, home of big, big hats, bigs shoes, big trucks, big heads, big mouth's, you get the idea.

To really understand what Texas is like you have to live there a while, I had to live there 2 years, which was 3 years to long, the only good thing was watching Football back when the Cowboys were not Americas Team, like they ever were. When Dandy Don led them to the Ice bowl where they did meet Americas Team on the frozen tundra of Lambeau field. For those of you who dont know where that is, its in WISCONSIN.

Oh yes Texas, I could go on for days but I will say one thing for most of them and thats that there hart is as big as the rest of them.

This message was brought to you from

Riverwind of The Great State of Wisconsin

River, reread #3

Studlover

[kristoff]

Yeah, and not to mention the lousy Swedish food.

Studlover

Watch it or I'll send you some Lutefisk, a wonderful Minnesota Scandinavian tradition

[Studlover (imported)]

Watch it or I'll send you some Lutefisk, a wonderful Minnesota Scandinavian tradition

Oh I didn't mean Swedish food is lousy. I meant Swedish food in Texas is lousy. (whew that was a close one)

Studlover

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

Oh I didn't mean Swedish food is lousy. I meant Swedish food in Texas is lousy. (whew that was a close one)

Studlover

Be careful! You don't want someone shipping Lutefisk to you! --FLO--

[JesusA (imported)]

Isn't interstate commerce in lutefisk illegal? If it isn't, it certainly should be.

[kristoff]

Isn't interstate commerce in lutefisk illegal? If it isn't, it certainly should be.

I think it is legal if you encase it in lead.