Bushcronium: Noxious New Element Discovered

[Studlover (imported)]

Bushcronium: Noxious New Element Discovered

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the

densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named

"Bushcronium." Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75

deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic

mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called

'morons', which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles

called 'peons'. The symbol for Bushcronium is "W".

Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly

interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant

deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming new, slave-like

'iso-dopes'. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists

to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain

quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as

"Critical Morass".

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element

that radiates shrill, incoherent noises. Foxnewsium is related and

monetarily connected to Bushcronium, but has 1/2 as many peons but twice

as many morons. Both Bushcronium and Foxnewsium are considered to be

inherently criminal, noxious and potentially deadly to all human life on

earth.

[kb57z (imported)]

Bushcronium: Noxious New Element Discovered

The symbol for Bushcronium is "W".

I believe this is a misprint, as "W" is the symbol for Tungsten. The correct symbol must be "Gw".

As a element at the "bottom left" of the Periodic table, this element can be predicted to be metallic and highly reactive, and will need be stored under oil to prevent combustion on exposure to air, water or adverse criticism. It can be expected to have many applications in the petrochemical industry.

Given its atomic mass, its nucleus is inevitably not very stable, and near-complete loss of the element present in a sample will occur in 8 years. Also, under certain circumstances the capture of a fast particle (such as is emitted by a coltium 45 atom) can cause an instantaneous decay (due to a cheney reaction) with complete conversion into an isotope of vicepresidentium.

[n3rf (imported)]

That is sooo very Funny.

Send a copy to the WhiteHouse...

Thanks N3RF

[Kangan (imported)]

I believe this is a misprint, as "W" is the symbol for Tungsten. The correct symbol must be "Gw".

As a element at the "bottom left" of the Periodic table, this element can be predicted to be metallic and highly reactive, and will need be stored under oil to prevent combustion on exposure to air, water or adverse criticism. It can be expected to have many applications in the petrochemical industry.

Given its atomic mass, its nucleus is inevitably not very stable, and near-complete loss of the element present in a sample will occur in 8 years. Also, under certain circumstances the capture of a fast particle (such as is emitted by a coltium 45 atom) can cause an instantaneous decay (due to a cheney reaction) with complete conversion into an isotope of vicepresidentium.

Bottom left? I think far right would be more like it.

[kb57z (imported)]

Bottom left? I think far right would be more like it.

The "flat" representation of the Periodic Table is merely a convention for the convenience of printing. It is fundamental to the concepts of chemical properties that the "Alkali Metals" at the very left of the table and the "Halogens" at the opposite extreme are both directly next to the "Noble Gases". The Periodic Table is much better visualised as a cylinder, with the two sides of the "flat" version joined together. In this form the distance from "far left" to "far right" is minimal....

[Kangan (imported)]

The "flat" representation of the Periodic Table is merely a convention for the convenience of printing. It is fundamental to the concepts of chemical properties that the "Alkali Metals" at the very left of the table and the "Halogens" at the opposite extreme are both directly next to the "Noble Gases". The Periodic Table is much better visualised as a cylinder, with the two sides of the "flat" version joined together. In this form the distance from "far left" to "far right" is minimal....

Geez - and I thought the Earth was flat too....