I do apologise, I've already posted something similar in >Issues and Discussions<
But I'm desparate here! I would love to hear from other eunuchs in the UK. Sometimes I feel so alone on this island! Younger, or more mature, gay or straight, I'd love to hear from you!
There's a fair bit of info. in my profile, if anyone would like to know more about myself. All the wonderful people I know seem to be out in the States and would love to get to know more people this side of the pond
If you feel comfortable, you are more than welcome to contact me directly : thefraj2002@yahoo.co.uk
I didn't read most of your posts to the archive a couple of years in the past, but I'm impressed by your intelligence and attitude. My own take on the whole subject of voluntary eunuchism is, that it is only part of a larger process of rethinking and restructuring the way that society deals with the differences between genders. As I see it, in the course of developing civilized society, the human race has drastically distorted the real differences and social roles of men and women, and also of those who don't fit well into one or the other of those two sexual categories. This has created a situation in which most people spend their lives trying to conform to roles which society has defined, which don't really have much, if anything, to do with the real biological differences between sexes (and sexual types), but which have been established for political, economic, social hierarchy maintenance, or other reasons. In my view, the lifelong attempt to conform to arbitrarily imposed sexual standards, makes practically everybody miserable, most of the time if not nearly all the time. After it is eliminated, people will probably be stunned that it was ever tolerated.
With that as background, the point I would like to make is, that it seems to me somewhat parochial for you to confine your interest in gender issues, to those which are specific to those who have had orchiectomies. You perhaps don't understand fully the potential which your position, both as someone who can understand this sort of thing, and who is, in some sense a participant in a different way of viewing gender, provides to you. The bottom line is, someone doesn't have to be a eunuch to have a different view of life than that which society offers to people, and it would seem to me that it would be sensible for you to widen your approach to these matters. I'm not trying to imply that you have a greater responsibility than other people, but this is something that is there if you want to take part in it.
Aww, don't flatter me! I'm going to go all shy now! I totally hear what you are saying. And there are some good friends who know about my condition, but of course (like most [so-called] 'normal' people, it seems creepy, and is something we don't discuss).
And I suppose thats exactly my point. It would be nice to know someone who would be happy to talk about this subject. So I suppose it would also be nice to get to know those from the Archives here in the UK (whether castrated or not).
But I need to be honest, it would be even more special to know someone just like myself. Hehe, imagine when girls have a 'girls night out'. Not that they like to narrow their social choices, (or that they necessarily DISLIKE men!) but there's something special about being with other people just like yourself for a change.
Imagine being in a country where everyone has a different gender than yourself. You are the only one. Sure, you may have good friends, and some you may even feel comfortable talking about your gender with. But it's not the same. There will always be that desire to find people like yourself.
And for someone who is not castrated, they will probably not know how it feels, because they will still strongly identify as male. Plenty of males around to be friends with. But I know I am fundamentally different. And I suppose this is the reason I wish to reach out.
(I suppose I'm not making a lot of sense right now, am I?)
But I suppose I would like to hear from people interested in castration here in the UK too.
----
Just wanted to append this post (I do that I lot don't I?), just to say I know exactly what you're implying, An Onymus and I am very grateful for your words! It does make a person appreciate the roles (and invisible rules!) that society expects of the genders. And the true changes that occur in the mind, with changes in hormones. I've only recently come to realise that - even before castration, I've always been fairly androgynous - a eunuch in the mind (I think I've posted something like this before!).
So I do have nothing but respect for both genders. But I also accepted that I am neither. And that's fine too. Sometimes, it's just nice to find others like me.
thefraj (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 28, 2005 11:54 am
I suppose I'm not making a lot of sense right now, am I?
I think you are making a very great deal of sense, Rog.
It is entirely right and proper that you seek people of similar background and experience in hope of obtaining better insight into your own situation. In the USA we call this "the right of voluntary association" and defend it as if it were a named Constitutional right. And it is equally right and proper that you want to limit this particular group to residents of the UK. The British and the Americans are indeed "two great peoples divided by a common language." The surest way to identify the cultural differences between the UK and the USA is to ignore them.
By the way, I share your admiration of An Onymous' pseudonym.
I understand what you are saying. Sometimes I feel like I'm in the same boat (different lake). I've also felt it comforting to talk with others like myself, but it is also nice to know that I have others friends who can accept me for who I am. And that makes a lot of difference.
An Onymus, you make a good point too. I always try to make new friends, but there are times it's just better to be with those of like interests. I feel that if and when the time is right, making new friends will become easy.
You are all too kind! Thank you all, so much for your kind words! Deep down, I really wish I did live in America, and had a chance to get to know some of you a little better! (hehe, if you could tolerate me that is!)
It's true! The more I learn about America and the UK, the greater the gap seems to be in culture! (Thanks Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson!)
Hehe, some of my favourites! :
[US] Biscuits = [UK] Rolls
[UK] Biscuits = [US] Cookies
[US] Cookies = [UK] (A particular kind of sugared cookie with chocolate chips!)
[UK] Jelly = [US] Jello
[US] Jelly = [UK] Jam
[US] Heck (cuss word) = [UK] Hell (cuss word) [Heck is not really a cuss-word here!]
[US] Fanny = [UK] Virgina
[UK] Fanny = [US] Rear-end
[US] Sherbert = [UK] Sorbét
[UK] Sherbert = [US] Sugar
Damn is a cuss word in the US, and is not in the UK.
Bloody is a cuss word in the UK, and is virtually meaningless in the US.
Hi, Roger. Don't think we've chatted before. There are other eunuchs in the UK.
I think everybody wants to find someone who is a lot like them that they can identify with- male or female, eunuch or not, old or young. You look really sweet- like a nice person.
Well Roger if i ever get to the UK i surley want to look you up as we both have a very good friend in Jesus.He dosent live that far from me and this summer River and Jesus and I spent a very delightful day togeather and I wish you could have been their with us as he thinks so much of you.For myself i have found that i can shair my lifes story with others after I get to know them and I feel i can trust them enough to let them in on just who i realey am.For me I need to show my love and trust for the other person as I have found that usualy openes many doors.Thanks for your post and your honesty love Sag111
Of course, I was, in part, just buttering up Rog, so I might be able to press him into service as a tour guide, if I ever get back to England. Ever since reading about the romantic poets of the nineteenth century, I've wanted to see the Lake District, but never got anywhere near there. Also would like to tour the cheesemaking areas, which I think are mostly in the midlands. I have always admired the watercolours of Cox and Cotman, and would like some day to go on a biking, or perhaps even a walking tour, of the areas where they painted. Another place I'd like to visit is Speyside--then, of course, I'd need somebody to drive me back to the hotel!
Hate to admit it, but I only created the name "An Onymus" because someone else had already taken "Anonymous," which is the archive name I'd really prefer.
Well, to be honest, this is more than a little bit off the original topic, but it's the only place I have found in the EA that says anything about cultural differences:
It is truly said that the Americans are a people who think 100 years is a long time, and the British are a people who think that 100 miles is a long distance. A few years ago I had occasion to visit Bedfordshire. I was amused to learn that some of the locals were scandalized that an American family had made a day trip---there and back in one day---from Mendenhall to Land's End. What could they have been thinking?
And I was struck dumb (only very briefly, of course, but still---) to learn that England's New Forest was established in the same year as the Doomsday Book, twenty years after Hastings, four centuries before Columbus!
and would love to get to know more people this side of the pond 