Good advice

[Andrew (imported)]

HOME REMEDIES THAT WORK.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup

of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be

almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by

getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by

simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers - just cut yourself and bleed

for a few minutes. Thus will reduce the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent

your rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze

button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you

will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will

forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really

are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and

should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct

tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.