Things we all would like to say at work, but

[Studlover (imported)]

Things we all would like to say at work, but

can't.

1. I can see your point, but I still think

you're full of it.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll

bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time

to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you

people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being

smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave

a message..

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand

a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited

us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was

young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust

of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just

don't care.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over

your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions

I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged

by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't

mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and

mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot

of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties

are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent

lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have

most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for,

you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without

a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind

door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here

is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out

I just wanted pay checks.