Dumb Texas Laws

[Studlover (imported)]

As a Native Texan, I find these amusing. Those of you who are not from Texas, I hope you can appreciate these "dumb laws."

Studlover

Dumb Texas Laws

When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.

It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

You can be legally married by publically introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.

It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.

It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

It is illegal to milk another person's cow.

A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer.

The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Abilene

It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.

Austin

Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.

Beaumont

Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.

Borger

It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.

Clarendon

It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

Dallas

It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.

El Paso

Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."

Houston

Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday.

It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.

Galveston

It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.

Jasper

Dogs must be on a leash at ALL times. Fine of 100 dollars.

LeFors

It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.

Lubbock County

It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.

Mesquite

It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

Port Arthur

Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.

Richardson

It is now illegal to place a "for sale" sign on a car if it visible from the street.

It is illegal to do "U Turns".

San Antonio

It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.

Temple

No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square.

You can ride your horse in the saloon.

Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.

Texarkana

Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.

[Riverwind (imported)]

I would except no less.

River

[Studlover (imported)]

I would except no less.

River

Good, Riverind! Remember, Texas hangs 'em and then asks questions!

Studlover

[Studlover (imported)]

Does somebody know the fine for this...

It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.

I have always had the desire to piss on the Alamo. I cannot explain it....

:shakemitk

A-1

Huh, so did Ozzie Osborn and look what happened to him when he did it.

SL

[Riverwind (imported)]

Oh yes, the Alamo, I remember back in 65 while in basic training in San Anton...

we got a pass to go into town. We all wanted to see this historic site and when we got to the corner a tall lanky Texan said, "yep, thats the Alamo" with a great deal of pride. What we saw was the ruins of this old mission that looked like it should be torn down. Then one of the peeople in our crowd said "no wonder they lost", I have never regretted saying that and we turned around and left the area because there was this, what smelled like an open sewer across the street.

Did you know that when it rains in Texas it rains mud.

River

[Studlover (imported)]

Oh yes, the Alamo, I remember back in 65 while in basic training in San Anton...

we got a pass to go into town. We all wanted to see this historic site and when we got to the corner a tall lanky Texan said, "yep, thats the Alamo" with a great deal of pride. What we saw was the ruins of this old mission that looked like it should be torn down. Then one of the peeople in our crowd said "no wonder they lost", I have never regretted saying that and we turned around and left the area because there was this, what smelled like an open sewer across the street.

Did you know that when it rains in Texas it rains mud.

River

Riverwind, Actually it probably was an open sewer at the time. Better known now as the Riverwalk. It's now a pissy-elegant place and real touristy.

Lots of money to be made on the Riverwalk both as a business owner and restauranteer. Little Rhein Steak House was not there when you were in basic but popped up 3 years later. Hemisfair is not Hemisflop so to speak.

But all in all, San Antonio is still a very beautiful city with incredible charm and of course, the Texas friendly people.

But if people still want to piss on the Alamo, I really don't care.

Studlover

[Riverwind (imported)]

San Antonio, I know like every other city it does not look the same today as it did in 65. I have also herd that its now one of the most beautiful citys in the country and its show peace is the River Walk. Somehow though, San Antonio will alway be that tall lean Texan leaning on a telephone poll.

River

[Studlover (imported)]

San Antonio, I know like every other city it does not look the same today as it did in 65. I have also herd that its now one of the most beautiful citys in the country and its show peace is the River Walk. Somehow though, San Antonio will alway be that tall lean Texan leaning on a telephone poll.

River

River, yeppers. The tall lean Texan still leans on the pole! Although we got the dubious "honor" of being the fattest city in America LAST year, we still have that lean, mean look. And yes, it's true, a cowboy's legs hit the ceiling as soon as they hit the bed.

(Oh did I say that???)!

Studlover