Pizza Hut

[Studlover (imported)]

Are we on our way, or what?

ORDERING PIZZA IN THE FUTURE

This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in the near

future that we're not sure how funny this really is....

Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID

number?

Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

6102049998-45-54610

Operator: Thank you James. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,

and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln

Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is

jbqmvq@home.net. You're at home right now.

Customer: Huh? Sure I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?

Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

Customer: The HSS, what is that?

Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This

will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat

Special pizzas with double cheese.

Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

Customer: Whaddya mean?

Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that

you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your

National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.

Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?

Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll

like it.

Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your

local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids.

Your two dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.

Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.

Your credit card balance is over its limit.

Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your

driver gets here.

Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is

overdrawn also.

Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.

How long will it take?

Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45

minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while

you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle

can be a little awkward.

Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?

Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your

car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank

yesterday.

Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#~~&$#@$@#

Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a

July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see

here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge.

Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State

Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to

society?

Customer: (speechless)

Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us

from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits

this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.

ONE NATION: UNDER SURVEILLANCE