Life's Questions #2

[Studlover (imported)]

LIFE'S STUPID QUESTIONS # 2

1 Should Vegetarians eat animal crackers?

2 Do you find it a bit unnerving doctors call what they do practice?

3 If a funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights

off?

4 If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

5 If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is

it considered a hostage situation?

6 When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

7 When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown

away?

8 A stitch in time saves nine what?

9 After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out

of the water?

10 After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright

11 Are female moths called myths?

12 Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

13 Are there a lot of virgins in the Virgin Islands?

14 Are there any unguided missiles?

15 Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say

"Do Not Pass"?

16 Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?

17 Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

18 Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

19 Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

20 Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?

21 Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial

sweetener?

22 Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?

23 Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

24 Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they

keep it?

25 Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

26 Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans?

27 Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

28 Do boxer shorts box?

29 Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

30 Do clowns wear really big socks?

31 Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

32 Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

33 Do fish get thirsty?

34 Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

35 Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

36 Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

37 Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

38 Do mass murderers kill only in church?

39 Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?

40 Do pilots take crash-courses?

41 Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

42 Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms?

43 Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

44 Do steam rollers really roll steam?

45 Do television evangelists do more than lay people?

46 Do vampires get AIDS?

47 Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

48 Do witches run spell checkers?

49 Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

50 Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just

take the time to take the dirt out of them?

51 Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he

just whipped out a quarter?

52 Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

53 Does an analyst have to be anal?

54 Does killing time damage eternity?

55 Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?

56 Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

57 Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? I don't

get it.

58 Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

59 Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

60 Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?

61 Have you ever wondered?

62 How can someone "draw a blank"?

63 How can there be self-help "groups"?

64 How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

65 How come chocolate milk doesn't come from brown cows?

66 How come I can pick my ears but not my nose?

67 How come wrong numbers are never busy?

68 How dead is the Dead Sea?

69 How did a fool and his money get together?

70 How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?

71 How do I set my laser printer on stun?

72 How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

73 How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?

74 How do you get off a nonstop flight?

75 How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried

some of the others?

[Riverwind (imported)]

50 Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just

take the time to take the dirt out of them?

Great, just great

River

[Moreschi (imported)]

I liked that one to, River.