Restaurant Manners

[Studlover (imported)]

A lady dining in a fine restaurant is about to take a bite when she turns to the man at the table next to her. "Pardon me, sir" she says. "Your napkin has fallen on the floor."

"Oi! Tanks for dat. Vitout you, I vouldn't know. I'm blindt." He reaches down to find his napkin. Once it's back on his lap, he asks her if he has spilled any food on his shirt.

"Hardly at all," she answers, "just a few cracker crumbs."

"Tanks, again, Missus," he replies, brushing them off. "Vitout you telling, I vouldn't know dese tings."

A few moments later, he inquires again, "Do you mind I should ask a poisonal qvestion?"

"Not at all," she replies.

"I don't do vell vit the ladies. Do you tink I'm ugly?"

"You're quite presentable," she replies. "That shouldn't be a problem."

Smiling now, he exults, "Vat a relief. I vas alvays afraid to ask. Again, I got to tank you."

A few more moments pass and the lady speaks up. "Do you mind if I give you a bit of advice?" she asks.

"Soitenly! Listen, I'll take all de help what you've got I vill take," he answers.

"Lose the Jewish accent." she replies. "You're Chinese."