Paolo Poops on a Movie, since Dave Craps on Them

[Paolo]

SPOILERS!

"The Odd Life of Timothy Green"

You can find the link on IMDB, I'm sure, but why bother?

The premise of the movie is such: A couple who cannot have children have tried everything, and have finally been told there is no hope. They are devastated. This is where the bad acting begins. That, and the story is told as a flashback while being related to a committee for adoption. Now, after hearing this tale, would YOU give these loons a child?!

So, deciding to move on with life, they write up all the traits their dream child would have and bury the little notes in a box in the garden. It's a drought time, too. And it rains. Only on their property. The box full of notes literally sprouts like a seed and creates the perfect little boy, Timothy, played by CJ Adams. This is the only good thing about the movie. The little darling has a beatific expression on his face for about 94 minutes, and he's cute.

Timothy, however, is different. He has philodendron leaves growing out of both shins, which cannot be cut off. Yeah, it's summer. The leaves are green. As autumn approaches, this perfect child who seemingly popped up out of the cabbage patch is never even investigated by the police, missing persons, nothing. Everyone in the small town just accepts that the Greens now have a child.

Timothy also knows 'nothing'. But he can talk and understand English. He also seems to know that he's naked, and is ashamed of it.

We then move to the cliche of him bonding with the misfits of the small town, and solving all their problems. Every time he does, a leaf turns red/orange and falls off his leg. The person he helped gets this leaf. As you can guess, in the autumn of his life, it's time for him to go once his work is done and he's saved the town from financial ruin and gotten all the oddballs' problems solved. He's used up all his magic, so to speak, and on a dark and stormy night, he vanishes in a flash of lightning. The grieving parents then find the box in the garden again.

The acting is over the top, the characters are unbelievable, the editing is terrible, and the baddies are so poorly written that you want to slap the director and not them.

For instance, the old favorite uncle dies. In fact, Timothy killed him by getting him to laugh so much he had a heart attack. Wide eyed shot of the boy, then CUT, on to the soccer team tryouts. Huh?! This kid doesn't really know anything, uncle just died, and he's gonna go play soccer? He also kicks a winning goal - into the wrong goal and the rival team wins. Derp...

This movie could have been a great one if it didn't suffer from atrocious directing and horrible writing.

I think the main thing that stands out is that no one seems to think a thing of a child sprouting up out of the ground (those few who know), and the town's failure to react to a new kid that came out of nowhere. How did they register him for school, then? And after all this, at the end, the couple is given a child to adopt? They should have been locked up in Belleview, if you ask me.

Overall, I am so glad I didn't blow $10 to see this one.

Unless you just want to watch it for the cute factor of CJ Adams, don't waste your time.

Timothy Green, perhaps, is better referred to as a lemon.

[Dave (imported)]

Thanks,

I saw promotions for this movie and thought it might be "heartwarming" and then I started hearing rumors and talk about the script and the way the premise was handled. That inspired horror and dread. THose emotions aren't compatible with each other.

I would put this in a category of "What the hell were they thinking about" ...

And

"I just wasted two hours of my life" movies.

[Cainanite (imported)]

Kids, who don't know any better, will be engrossed by this film. Unfortunately, those kids will be too young to really get the message of this movie. If they are young enough to be entertained by the premise, they will be too young for the movie's ending.

Paolo is correct. The people in the town are stupid. They don't investigate where the kid came from. Nor do they investigate where the kid went. At the end of this movie, when the Greens are telling folks that Timothy, "went back to the garden", you'd think the police would be all over their property with shovels and the corpse sniffing dogs.

CJ Adams, who plays the lead role, does very well for a 10 or 11 year old. Sadly, all the other actors merely phone this one in. Their acting is, at best, no better than the 10 year old's.

I am reminded of the Disney movies from when I was a kid. Escape to Witch Mountain had kids that mysteriously appeared, solved problems and then disappeared. That movie also had very bad acting and cute kid actors. Yet, that movie also had an actual sense of reality (for a movie about magical kids from another planet). People actually investigated where the kids came from and where they went. That they had magical powers actually bothered some people.

The Odd Life of Timothy Green has no such sense of logic to it. The magical kid is merely accepted. No one questions anything. You will be screaming at the screen for one police officer to do his job, or one teacher to investigate who this kid really belongs to. Certainly after hearing their story, there is no way an adoption agency would give these wackos a real live child.

If you hang your brain at the door before watching this movie, you might be fine. You can't question anything in this film because absolutely zero answers will be forthcoming. To enjoy it, you will just sort of have to roll with it. There were a few good moments that I was able to lose myself in, but they were few and far between.

Beware the ending when watching with young kids, though. They'll be crying over this worse than they did with Bambi's Mom.

[A-1 (imported)]

Movies like this are made by Crack Babies on Meth. Marijuana DOES NOT HELP THEM, either. Only euthanasia helps.

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

Sigh... Disney's live-action division has been taken over by a bunch of hacks. They've been going further and further downhill every year since Walt died, and now they can't make a decent family film to save their lives. Thank goodness the animation department has been rescued by Pixar, and is now making great films again, otherwise the entire Disney brand would be an absolute joke right now.

[Dave (imported)]

thanks again, I told a friend who has two boys under 10 y/o and she's always looking for info on movies,

[Paolo]

The Nostalgia Critic is back!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQe-dXxoFC8

Yeah, he's going after Timothy Green!

Oddly enough, after watching this review, which is hilarious, I began thinking of the traits I would give a child in this manner.

Then I scared myself.

hehe

[jemagirl (imported)]

I enjoyed this movie.

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

Hehe... apparently a movie so bad that it was enough to convince the Nostalgia Critic that his work was not done, and come back... classic.

[foxytaur (imported)]

As always great review

I knew he'd be back for more:D