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Prepare For The Outrage: Archie Comics To Feature A Gay Wedding
by Jon Bershad | 12:59 pm, September 14th, 2011
http://www.mediaite.com/print/prepare-f ... y-wedding/
Uh oh! Did you hear that? Another comic book has dared to depict a world that actually reflects the one we live in. You know what that means, the countrys ready to flip out for a day!
Yes, Kevin Keller, the young gay man who is incidentally also a cartoon and not real, is getting married. Keller, if you recall, caused a previous bout of nonsensical controversy merely by existing when he was introduced to the world of Archie Comics a year ago.
Whoa! Getting married after only being around for a year? Way to show up those two-dimensional breeders, Kev.
So clearly all of our nations children are going to run out and get gay married now, right? After all, the childhood obesity epidemic only started when Jughead ate his first hamburger. And we all know how many kids yearly get seriously injured trying to carve crosshatches into their heads.
Sure, like the black Spider-Man kerfuffle from a few months ago, this gay marriage takes place in an alternate title and isnt canon to the real Archie universe, but whatever! This is real! Its happening! Drudge picked it up!
Now I know what the argument is for people who are going to try to make a big deal out of this. Its not that they have anything against gay people, per se. They just dont think its a subject that belongs in childrens entertainment. I totally agree. And, you know what? Race is a tricky subject too! Thats why every character on TV should be played by a white person! Then, when the parent thinks their child is old enough (lets say around the time theyre shipping off to college), they can explain to them that Maria on Sesame Street was actually secretly Hispanic the whole time. Thats so much easier!
Seriously though, if we dont do anything, Americas going to be in trouble. With this comic book coming out (no pun intended) and Chaz Bono dancing with stars, its only a matter of time before every child out there is a gay married transsexual. Because, as all science will tell you, children merely have to set eyes on LGBT people and they instantly turn into one themselves. Its like the alternate lifestyle version of Medusa and stone.
In other news, everyone is ignoring the biggest story here; its the year 2011 and were talking about Archie Comics.
http://www.mediaite.com/print/prepare-f ... y-wedding/