Dating service for people who cannot have sex...

[A-1 (imported)]

Right up your alley... (http://www.care2.com/causes/a-dating-si ... e-sex.html)

Dating websites are revolutionizing the way we think about relationships. The sites exist in almost every stripe, from online matchmaking based on religion to (the admittedly odious) Beautifulpeople, which recently ejected 30,000 members for being “ugly.” But what about people for whom a relationship can never include sex? Intercourse can be painful or impossible for a variety of reasons, from disease to disability to simple disinterest, but it can be a challenging topic to bring up.

Enter 2date4love, a dating website created by cancer survivor Laura Brashier. The site, which launched earlier this month, “enables people who cannot engage in sexual intercourse to meet and experience love, companionship and intimacy at its deepest level.” In other words, it helps people — like Brashier, who had trouble dating because they could not have sex — to find an intimate, loving relationship. More than 2,000 people have already signed up.

Over ten years ago, Brashier finished treatment for cervical cancer, which saved her life but made sex unbearably painful. She explains,

“I still have all the same sexual desires I had before cancer. As the cancer treatment took a toll on my body, I’m no longer able to function sexually the way I used to. This has proven to be an enormous challenge when it comes to dating — when the topic of intimacy is raised, I fear that once my partner knows my limitations, he may lose interest.”

There are a myriad reasons why people might seek a non-sexual romantic relationship, but very few venues in which to find a partner who feels the same way. Cancer treatments like Brashier’s very often interfere with sexual functioning, and even the process of aging can lower women’s sex drive and inhibit men’s sexual performance. But this large group of people generally experiences significant stigma around the issue, leaving them fearful of what their partner will say. Brashier’s new site could change all of that.

“It’s just the freedom of not having it on my mind when I am talking to a man,” she said. “It’s really hard for someone else to understand how it weighs on my mind.”

Of course, there’s no reason why any romantic relationship needs to involve sex. And if sex is difficult, painful or undesirable, these factors should not consign anyone to lifelong loneliness. Brashier’s brave new site will do much, both to normalize the idea of a functioning, nonsexual romantic relationship, and to provide ways for people who are seeking this kind of intimacy to find each other.

Read more: http://www.care2.com/causes/a-dating-si ... z1VRokGyGB

COMMENTS?

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Interesting, A-1..Forgive me for being a sexual pig, but, I wonder if this woman is able to engage in oral sex? It's my preferred sexual release...I am unable to get a sufficient erection for penetration..I'd be perfect for her! Does this "unable to have sex" merely apply to regular intercourse? Inquiring horns want to know...smooches Jackie

[Hash (imported)]

Well, I think butterfly is right in this respect, sex does not always include intercourse. Laura Brashier doesn't give us enough information in this short article. There are people who for one reason or another can't have straight intercourse, penis in vagina which leads to orgasm. However, she says she still has all the same sexual desires as she did before she had cancer, so what's the problem? Does she have extreme pain when she gets aroused from rubbing herself or gets to the point of orgasm or is it just having a penis stuck up inside her that causes the extreme pain? Some people are so emotionally scared/scarred that they can't engage in sex, some have been abused sexually which psychologically has them all messed up so that they can't engage in any form of sex, some people have been physically injured so that the mechanics of sexual pleasure no longer exist, so sex is unimportant to them. As a castrated male, if I stop using testosterone, I don't care about sex and it's meaningless to me. I'm just not interested in doing it and physcially can't do it. My penis becomes so limp no amount of stimulation will generate the slightest erection. Some eunuchs can stimulate themselves to orgasm, but I can't, not after a week of no testosterone. However, most people, even those like Laura, can find someway of sexual gratification if they work at it. But as far as relationships, sex is one of the most important binding features of a relationship. It's really, in my opinion, the one factor that pushes men and women to build a relationship. Sex is the intimate factor, I know some people will say it's not necessary for a strong relationship, but it's up there for most people. So I'm not sure how a sexless relationship can become an intimate relationship, but older couples who can no longer perform sexually stay together without sex, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe sexual pleasure isn't necessary for a strong relationship and maybe without sex to get in the way, the couple utilizes different things to grow and bind themselves together. Hmmm? Might make a great book, think I'll start researching this.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Its using a dating service that turns me off.

River

[A-1 (imported)]

Interesting, A-1..Forgive me for being a sexual pig, but, I wonder if this woman is able to engage in oral sex? It's my preferred sexual release...I am unable to get a sufficient erection for penetration..I'd be perfect for her! Does this "unable to have sex" merely apply to regular intercourse? Inquiring horns want to know...smooches Jackie

Gee! I don't know the answer to this one. I suppose that you could inquire. This whole concept sounds a little prudish to me, but maybe that is just me. It is more acceptable to women to go into a match making service never explaining if they want to have sex or not. They decide this after they get to know you, at least that is what I understand. However, one that says 'no sex' up front are not likely to get a lot of men unless they are eunuchs.

Do the other dating services have a "I do not want to have (some type of) sex" option, or do they even ask? I don't think that they do. It is more like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates.

One of the girls at work met her present husband on such a dating service but I am not sure how it worked. She made a comment to another about how to avoid sexual predators on these dating services. Maybe somebody who has actually used one could tell us more.

Another one of the girls at work tried e-harmony.com and they told her that they did not have anybody who was compatible with her, which is a little hard to believe. Of course, she is a divorcee... twice with 2 boys from 2 different marriages the oldest one is almost 17 and still in high school.

Here I thought that if companionship was all that you wanted you could join some kind of Bridge Club. On the other hand if sex is all that you want an escort service might be the way to go. Isn't it hard to find a dating service that offers both these days?

However, as River infers, the whole concept is rather intrusive and belittling. Most people are not realistic about their wants and needs in a relationship in the first place. Con artists abound. There is also a lot of risk in the world and people disappear and are never found again or if they are it is only their remains. There may be a degree of safety and protection in a dating service.

So I don't know how to answer your question.

[Paolo]

My luck, the service would hook me up with someone like A-1. hehe

[Cainanite (imported)]

Geez. If you want companionship, get a dog or cat. Get two. I have two cats and believe me, I never feel lonely. There's always someone to greet me at the door and give me hell. I don't need a significant other to feel fulfilled. If you really want all the joy of being in a relationship with no sex, get a roommate. I had one for years, and before he finally moved out we bickered like an old married couple. Heck, we finished each other's sentences.

We'd have conversations that went like this;

"Say. Do you remember that time? You know. With that guy in the shirt?"

"Oh, yeah. That was funny."

" And there was a person... with a sweater."

"You mean Phil?"

"That's the name I was thinking about. Yes, Phil... Speaking of Phil, did you pick up any peanut butter?"

If that's not the conversation of an old married couple, I don't know what is. Trust me, a roommate is just like being married with none of the sex.

All that aside, I'm a romantic at heart. I believe in romance and true love. Yes, I am a sap. In my fantasies I like to think there might be someone out there I could truly love. Someone I'd live for, or die for. In reality, I don't think that person exists.

I just don't think I'd entrust something like finding the love of my life to an online dating service. Especially not for a sexless relationship. Been there, done that. Not as fun as advertised.