Why I am no longer allowed to describe critical hits.

[noxmagnus (imported)]

This is an excerpt from a D&D play-by-post game I play in. In this instance I was helping the DM and playing the bad guys cause my character wasn't present. In that role I was being allowed to describe the hits that the characters I was controlling took. This is what happened. It is certainly on subject for this forum so I thought you guys would enjoy it:

The sixth guard continues looking around Sable’s sphere of darkness, lining up a charge against Johannes. He holds the halfling in little regard and focuses on the dwarf. Besides, he heard if you shake a dwarf’s beard that money falls out.

His focus elsewhere, he does not notice that Wyatt runs away from his position once again, looping around Johannes. He twirls his mace around his wrist to build momentum and make the angle of the attack less predictable. Instead of going high this time, me goes an underhanded blow right at the tiefling’s groin. He even puts a bit of a hop into the blow. His blow connects, bending the metal groin of the armor inwards and his flanges split the armor. Acid burns from the flanges into and under the armor and the rotten smell of burned flesh assaults his nostrils as he yanks the mace free. The blow was enough to lift the tiefling up on his toes and he plainly shrieks in pain. Placed between a mortar and a pestle, the tieflings pills are thoroughly crushed.

"Lot of good that armor did ya!" Wyatt taunts and back peddles away from his opponent once again, ending up close to where he started this time.

[Cainanite (imported)]

I would think such a hit would also cause a permanent constitution drain. Or at least until the cleric could perform a full heal spell. I don't think a simple restoration spell would quite handle it.

Yes, I am a giant D&D nerd.

[Dave (imported)]

I would think such a hit would also cause a permanent constitution drain. Or at least until the cleric could perform a full heal spell. I don't think a simple restoration spell would quite handle it.

Yes, I am a giant D&D nerd.

I suspect that oo many of the players who consider themselves he D&D equivalent of Conan the barbarian or He-Man Master of the Universe don't take kindly to being reminded once their "

tieflings pills are thoroughly crushed

" they are no longer Conan or He-Man.

[Cainanite (imported)]

I've know some people that would throw down their dice and storm out if it happened to them. I've known other players that would laugh and start speaking for their character with a slightly octave in their voice. It surely depends on who you are playing with. In a D&D game you can't get too attached to your character. Dice rolls are random, and anything can happen.

If you've got a good DM, than that anything will become a central point in the adventure.

"Okay, your quest is now to find both the enchanted chalice, AND to restore Grimbeard's gonads."

[noxmagnus (imported)]

Well in this case the one that got his pills crushed was a low-level mook who was pretty much made to die anyway... and did the next turn, so no healing at all was tried, lol. But I agree, gonna take something major to heal that damage.

[Dave (imported)]

Would healing be a balm or a salve rubbed onto the wound? A Giant pressure bandage wrapped over and around the wound?

Or a "no hands on" magic spell?"

Pixie dust maybe?

[Cainanite (imported)]

Would healing be a balm or a salve rubbed onto the wound? A Giant pressure bandage wrapped over and around the wound?

Or a "no hands on" magic spell?"

Pixie dust maybe?

In the game I'm playing, it would depend on if the bits were damaged or severed. If damaged, a 13th level Cleric could cast a Full Heal, I believe it would be a 9th level spell to restore the bits. It would be a hands on spell. As in order to heal a player character, the cleric must be touching his target.

If they were severed,(not covered by the rules) it would probably require something more powerful. Something akin to restoring lost limbs. Like a lesser resurrection spell. Possibly a greater Resurrection spell, or a special object of power.

Personally, if I were running the game, I'd make it a magical object or garment. I'd make the players quest for if, if they really wanted it.

Hmm... Anyone for a eunuch themed D&D game?

[noxmagnus (imported)]

In the game I'm playing, it would depend on if the bits were damaged or severed. If damaged, a 13th level Cleric could cast a Full Heal, I believe it would be a 9th level spell to restore the bits. It would be a hands on spell. As in order to heal a player character, the cleric must be touching his target.

If they were severed,(not covered by the rules) it would probably require something more powerful. Something akin to restoring lost limbs. Like a lesser resurrection spell. Possibly a greater Resurrection spell, or a special object of power.

Personally, if I were running the game, I'd make it a magical object or garment. I'd make the players quest for if, if they really wanted it.

Hmm... Anyone for a eunuch themed D&D game?

Lol, I've tried starting one before. Also tried a femcirc themed one, got no interest in either. I'm always interested in that, I'll even help come up with it if you'd like.

[Cainanite (imported)]

Lol, I've tried starting one before. Also tried a femcirc themed one, got no interest in either. I'm always interested in that, I'll even help come up with it if you'd like.

I honestly have no idea how to run a campaign without everyone sitting around a table rolling dice. Running a game over the internet is a bit beyond me. How would you even confirm dice rolls?

I've created my own system that runs entirely with percentile dice. The rules are a lot simpler than D&D, but even that I'd have a hard time running without being there.

Heck. Half the fun of D&D is sitting around a big table fighting over the bag of Cheetos. Maybe when I attend the next MoM (next year) I can get a game going... if enough people are interested.

...or maybe not.

[noxmagnus (imported)]

I honestly have no idea how to run a campaign without everyone sitting around a table rolling dice. Running a game over the internet is a bit beyond me. How would you even confirm dice rolls?

I've created my own system that runs entirely with percentile dice. The rules are a lot simpler than D&D, but even that I'd have a hard time running without being there.

Heck. Half the fun of D&D is sitting around a big table fighting over the bag of Cheetos. Maybe when I attend the next MoM (next year) I can get a game going... if enough people are interested.

...or maybe not.

All the games I've ever played in where via forums. As for how to confirm dice rolls, the forum I usually play on has a built in dice roller, you just type like 1d20+2 and it rolls for you. I don't think this forum has anything like that so would have to use a thread on that forum for die rolls, or one of the various die roller sites that allow you to make a profile that records rolls.

Other than that the game plays out more like writing a story with multiple people taking turns adding their bit than standard RPing, but still fun.

Or there's freeform which uses no rolls and is essentially multiple authors taking turns on a story, lol.