At about the age of six or seven I had these really really super vivid nightmares about being castrated, and or having my penis removed. In these dreams I was one of many boys being cut but the reason for it was never made clear. It was not to prevent sex or mastrubation as, at the time, I didn't know what those things were. In one such dream, still very fresh in my mind, all the boys in my first grade class were nullified in a painless but none the less humiliating procedure. When I was a little older, about nine or ten, I dreamed a white van would come around to collect boys for castration. They got my best friend first and then a few weeks later they got me.
These nightmares scared me silly. I had no idea where they were coming from, what they meant, or why I was having them. But at the same time they were sexually quite stimulating. In other words they turned me on long before I knew what being turned on was all about. I hated the nightmares because they were so troubling, but at the same time I loved them for the feelings of sexual excitement they gave me.
At about the age of ten or 12 I learned that in the past boys really had been castrated to make castrati singers, or eunuchs, or slaves. It was the weirdest thing because I had the feeling that this knowledge had somehow always been with me. No one had ever told me about castration but I just sort of knew all abou it. I also felt that I knew exactly how those boys felt when they were castrated because I felt as if it had happened to me. It was like I had been one such unlucky kid in a past life.
Is it just me or have others had the same weird nightmares?