driving under the influence of porn

[Dave (imported)]

>>I have to qualify this post with a personal story.

>>One of the technicians I supervised back in the days before retirement, came up to me one day and I'm kinda a nerd and stupid type sometimes. In the middle of a conversation about what the experiment is going to be... Out of the clear blue he asks me: "Dave, you know how you have to close your eyes when you cum?" and fifteen blinking lights, five klaxons and several sirens go off in my head because I don't know what the hell he's going to say next. The first words out of my mouth are "What the fuck?" and he proceeds to tell me about getting a blow job from his girl friend while driving back to Pittsburgh on the PA Turnpike.

>>Yes "nots and what nots" a blowjob at 60 miles an hour requires you to close your eyes and drive the car in a (hopefully) straight line. and not into other cars or bridge abutments or the ditch at the side of the road. And what's clamped around your manhood? Your girlfriend's teeth.

But on to our news story:

Please note, The Smoking Gun doesn't print bylines on these stories. HA HA HA

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/ ... otic-crime

AUGUST 25--A Cincinnati woman was simultaneously masturbating with a sex toy and watching a pornographic video while driving last week, according to cops who arrested her on assorted criminal charges.

Colondra Hamilton, 36, was pulled over last Tuesday evening in a traffic stop triggered when cops noticed she was driving a 2008 Pontiac with overly tinted windows.

That’s when officers noticed that Hamilton’s pants were unbuttoned. And she had a vibrator in her lap. Questioned by cops, Hamilton admitted to engaging in auto erotic manipulation, and revealed that she had also been watching a porno movie that was playing on the laptop of a friend in the passenger seat, according to an Elmwood Place Police Department report.

Hamilton, pictured in the above mug shot, was booked into the Hamilton County jail on a misdemeanor count of driving with “impaired alertness.” Hamilton was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia since cops found a “broken piece of crack pipe” in her purse.

She was not, however, accused of using the pipe while she was driving and masturbating and watching an X-rated film, the title of which was not released.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Thanks, that's two tonight, both were a good laugh, thanks

River