Suddenly, I feel the need to categorize

[saywhat (imported)]

I have had the feeling for the past few days that I am one of a kind (and not in a good way). I have been looking at other forums TG, LadyBoy, IS, etc trying to see if I fit better with different groups. Then I came on to see Bobbie's post of being alone which got me thinking...

Here is the thing, I have read so many reasons of why people were castrated, and what their goals are/were, but none have been enough like my own for me to feel like I am part of a group of individuals that are on the same boat. Not to say I didn't on the other side of the fence. Before I was castrated, I felt a real bond to those who wanted it as bad as I did even though our reasons were all so different.

Now, I am recently castrated (and dont regret a thing), and was given T replacement, which I have taken now and then. My goals were to decrease my libido (which has helped), but more so for my bad deviant thoughts (which have come under control - still have my fun deviant thoughts ), but I am now admitting that there was more to it. I have the urge to have breasts (well, actually more importantly big nipples and areolas), that has been around for a long time (but I kept it buried). I do NOT have the desire to become a woman (I do not cross dress or plan to). I am hetero (not to say that I don't have homo tendencies like I believe most men have or had at some point), and identify as 100% (eunuch) male.

What the heck category does that place me in? What am I? Anyone else feel this way? Am I a 1:10,000, 1:10,000,000, 1:infinity?

Do we all feel the need to classify ourselves into a specific group, or is it just me?

I think I had better lay off of ice cream or what ever is causing the obsession to categorize, and not think about it. I like being a eunuch (the breast thing kinda weirds me out though, but I can't stop thinking about it ).

[bobbie (imported)]

I have had the feeling for the past few days that I am one of a kind (and not in a good way). I have been looking at other forums TG, LadyBoy, IS, etc trying to see if I fit better with different groups. Then I came on to see Bobbie's post of being alone which got me thinking...

Here is the thing, I have read so many reasons of why people were castrated, and what their goals are/were, but none have been enough like my own for me to feel like I am part of a group of individuals that are on the same boat. Not to say I didn't on the other side of the fence. Before I was castrated, I felt a real bond to those who wanted it as bad as I did even though our reasons were all so different.

Now, I am recently castrated (and dont regret a thing), and was given T replacement, which I have taken now and then. My goals were to decrease my libido (which has helped), but more so for my bad deviant thoughts (which have come under control - still have my fun deviant thoughts ), but I am now admitting that there was more to it. I have the urge to have breasts (well, actually more importantly big nipples and areolas), that has been around for a long time (but I kept it buried). I do NOT have the desire to become a woman (I do not cross dress or plan to). I am hetero (not to say that I don't have homo tendencies like I believe most men have or had at some point), and identify as 100% (eunuch) male.

What the heck category does that place me in? What am I? Anyone else feel this way? Am I a 1:10,000, 1:10,000,000, 1:infinity?

Do we all feel the need to classify ourselves into a specific group, or is it just me?

I think I had better lay off of ice cream or what ever is causing the obsession to categorize, and not think about it. I like being a eunuch (the breast thing kinda weirds me out though, but I can't stop thinking about it ).

You are not alone in the least. What you said is very common in people that post in here. The reasons to want castration are very different for everyone. Having a body different then what you were born with is not uncommon at all with the people in this site. Body modifaction of all types like wanting to have breasts is alright. People are not all in one class or another. It is not a straight/gay world. There ere are so many different falvors of people. Just sit back and enjoy your life.

Oh your odds of being different is more like one in 1,000000000000000000000000. Every one is different. That is what makes life so grand.

[Paolo]

I thought about this last night while I was trying to go to sleep (and failing) after Bobbie posted it.

In a nutshell, I knew when I was about 11/12 that I liked other boys who were about 11, give or take. When I hit Jr. Hi., I got interested in girls, but I still really liked some of the boys. Was I bi, then? Or was I gay when I was 11? I thought more and more about girls until about my Jr. year in HS, I think it was.

Reagan was president, Mac, so don't go there!!!

But by that time, I suddenly and very rapidly began losing interest in 'everyone' in a sexual way. I had hormonal issues back then, but by the time I was in my mid 20's, I couldn't - and still don't - have cared less.

So did I run the gamut of going from "jr. gay to bi to straight to asexual"?

I mean, it's been years since I was interested in anyone at all, so I think I have some idea where you're coming from. I also think it's not all that uncommon. I wonder how many traditional marriages out there are suffering, or have gone under, from the idea of "asexual doing what's expected"???

[seriously curious (imported)]

Interesting concept of trying to categorize oneself. Is it truly neccessary to do so? Does where a person fits into the grand scheme of things really matter?Myself I gave up trying to figure that out, it was easy to do once I realized that I am who I am. The who, what, and why is irrelevant. I tend to follow the Popeye philosophy of life with one simple caveat. I am's what I am's (here's the caveat) but thats not all that I am's. In other words, I allow for growth both in intellect and spirituality (Not my intention to bring religion into this conversation) I tend to be a curious person hence the handle. I too have wondered where I fit in, and like a bolt of lightning it hit me. It doesn't matter I truly care less about what other people think about me, being transgendered only reenforces that thought. What I am is this and this is the only category that counts I'm a HUMAN BEING plain and simple and that's the only category I need to fit into. In my life I have found that it takes all kinds to make this world go round I have had the displeasure of meeting some that don't. You on the other hand are one of the many that do!

[tugon (imported)]

I remember sitting around the house with no balls, no T and I had yet to discover the EA. I was on that roller coaster of change both mental and physical. I would have hot flashes that I was afraid would singe furniture and I thought well what am I now?

Then I found the EA. I started reading about men with similar interests but different motivating forces. All of a sudden I was lucky to receive a private message from "thefraj". Here was someone who closely mirrored many of my own feelings. We shared many phone calls and e-mails and in that exchange the understanding of my new place in the world began to unfold.

Now my category is No T eunuch. I do not think of myself as male but of course the general public would assign the title of male to me. I have no interest of ever being a male eunuch on T. I have no desire to transition beyond eunuch to female. I am purely eunuch. I am happiest as eunuch. I enjoy having both male and female tendencies and emotions. I am between both worlds.

As an almost 13 year old eunuch I find myself drifting further away from physical needs. In some ways I feel an observer of the human condition. I see people in passionate embraces or talking about that great desire to be with someone and I have to reach back to memories to remember what that was like. Today my needs are met by art, music, good conversation instead of any physical releases. Today I am more of the mind than of the body.

As the years have passed I have learned the new me, my category and place in the world. I have a level of comfort with myself that I could never have under the influence of T.

Knowing my category and my difference from others I have also tried to maintain our similarities. Someone might be castrated for different reasons than I but we share a lack of testicles in common. So it is good to understand what seperates us but what may also unite us.