how to please a woman

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

http://www.madblast.com/funny/13042_how ... happy.html

[Riverwind (imported)]

I did not know you knew my ex-wife, but you forgot a couple.

River

[transward (imported)]

True for youth and beauty, but after the bloom starts to fade for women, we tend to be grateful for men who show up and get it up.

cf Ben Franklin's advice on taking an older mistress:

http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/franklin/franklin.html

June 25, 1745

MY DEAR FRIEND:-

...

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking that Commerce with the Sex is inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice that in your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. This you call a Paradox, and demand my reasons. They are these:

1. Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are better stored with Observations; their conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Man, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a thousand Services, small and great, and are the most tender and useful of Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an Old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience.

4. Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be inclined to excuse an old Woman, who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by her good Councils, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part. The Face first grows lank and Wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in the Dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and frequently superior; every Knack being by Practice capable by improvement.

6. Because the sin is less. The Debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman happy.

8. 8th & lastly. They are so grateful!!!

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry immediately; being sincerely

Your Affectionate Friend,

Benj. Franklin

Transward

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Transward, I'll have you know, River was a personal friend of Benjamin Franklin who liked accepting advice from an OLDER guy like River

[Riverwind (imported)]

And we all know where I learned it from, MacWolf of course, he had been using that line for centuries before I came along.

River

[kellyslarkin (imported)]

That was pretty funny and too much true, but the Pakistani guy who posted a comment at the bottom was the most hilarious thing I've seen in a long time:

http://cdn-media.madblast.com/media/ima ... 1359_s.jpg

hello all female i am male from pakistan.i am very very romantic loving and sexy man.i know many thing about love romance and sex and orgasm. i can do all kind of sex and i can give full satisfaction to female as she wishes. i can do sex 1hours to 7hours contain love and romance and foreplay . i know 60 erogenous/sensitves parts in the female body which i can play during love and sex. i can give 100 orgasm in one sex to a female as she like. i know all about orgasm . i know 7kind o sex 1=single sex 2=multiple sex 3=massage sex 4= magic sex vibrating sex 5=soft sex 6=hard sex and 7=magic sex as female want i can do sex and will satisfaid all kind of female i know 60positoin o sex. i know 120 kind of kissing i touched and kiss all the female body as she enjoy i can give pleasr enjoy amazing full 1hour to 8 hour if she control her self. i have big penis 8inch lanth and wdt 2inch . i am very strong in sex when i hard my penis and after 8hours when i finshed sex then my penis hard more then first i wana a romantic loving caring beautiful and sexy female wheich play with me all the day and night plz help me to find a life partner if any who like me contact me

[augman7518 (imported)]

In reply to the Ben Franklin statement quote;

In praise of older women

They do not yell,tell smell,swell and are gratefull as hell

[Sweetpickle (imported)]

Whoever it was they knew what I like.

Show up naked and bring food

Oh and booze.

[devi (imported)]

Old women don't swell

and old women don't tell

and old women are as grateful as hell!

Young Man Blues from

-Uppity Blues Women