well due to a long talk with my best friend in the world (been friends for i guess about 9 years or so) I've decided to go see a doctor about my depressions. I'm prone to deep depressions and it's gotten worse this last year as it has turned into alot of anger and frustrations. maybe its a chemical imbalance or something, not sure. i hide things well with massive doses of humor.

i never liked hospitals or tests, but i suppose it has to be done.

things are going from bad to worse because of it, started drinking and even gave into temptation and smoked some ganja because of it these past few weeks.

if it's something physical then i'll see about getting it taken care of, if it's purely mental well.. i'll get a refferal to a head doctor.

i wonder if they'll let me pay in payments. like 50 bucks a month or something. that's about all i can afford. the road ahead looks a bit scary but i suppose it's better then just going on the way things are, heading for a metal twisting, body crushing, spine ripping car crash.

sorry for my rant, i been working on this bottle of wine for the past three hours since i got off of work. delete this post if you like.

No need to delete. At least you have decided to take a very sensible approach to issues of depression. Doctors and medicines can be expensive, but do inquire if there are any assistance programs available for the working poor, and dont hesitate to ask the doctor for a discount.

For those of us that suffer from depression, get to a doctor it helps. Also keep us up to date on what is happening, please use this board to talk about anything and everything as there are several of us who are very interested.

Bipolar Manic Depression, is not fun, thank god for the meds I take to keep me even and above board, without them I would be all over the place. In a rage one minute sitting in the corner crying the next. We have been there.

River

We have a local guidance center where folks are charged on a sliding scale based on their ability to pay. I would think there would be something similar near you. Since anti-depressants take a few weeks to be effective do not become discouraged if you do not feel better right away. Also ask your doctor for samples. Drug reps give docs samples and they do not always offer them. This could be an inexpensive way to find the one that works best for you.

You have chosen a path that is difficult to start down. The end result after all the anxiety and frustration will be a new look at the real you. Don't forget all of us here are on your side and will support your decision, listen to you and do whatever we can to help. --FLO--

South Carolina has long had excellent mental health social services. You should be able to afford the treatment you desire. You will feel much better with proper diagnosis and treatment.

How much wine or other alcohol do you drink?

Alcohol consumption and depression are linked in many cases. And "J"? Could it be that the alcohol and the "J" are attempts at self-medication?

Just remember, alcohol and anti-depressants DO NOT mix. ...and Don't drink your guardian angel under the table...

The alcohol and "J" will just make things worse. When you go for your testing they will screen you for drugs and if they are found in your system the problem of using them must be dealt with first, in other words, you will go to de-tox.

...best to stop using and drinking now...