A friendly person brought me back to this forum today. It's so sad though... I posted in 2004, and all the 3 years since then nothing's changed. I'm still without work, without health insurance, and trapped in this hellhole of a town. I've been scraping by with basic health care, but that doesn't include dentists anywhere in the state; haven't been able to get a simple tooth cleaning since 2002 even. Talked to a doctor about surgical...options the other day, but learned they won't even so much as give a guy a vasectomy, much less release him from the need to have sex. In fact there is no Planned Parenthood clinic, no Family Practice clinic, no place at all that'll perform the vasectomy operation except a hundred miles away in Sacramento. It can be done in the office in a half hour, and not even that...?

I've mostly given up on any hopes of castration, chemical or otherwise, or whatever will ease the tension and despair. I've even thought about... about having sex with someone to ease the the urges. It's just not something I can do though; I just can't fall in love with someone, desire to marry them and have children while loving them more than my own life.

And even if I did get the operation I may as well sell myself into slavery, dependant on the Pharmaceutical industry to keep my treacherous body alive and not degenerating. I mean... it's not always bad but... even if it was possible, it's not something for me. I've been trying so hard, and in 3 years nothing... haven't got anywhere done anything or been anyone. I alternate between lashing out at people for ruining my chances with their blithe denial of any problems, and withdrawing from people who can't help me anyway. Maybe I'm just not cut out for life. Wish I hadn't been born.

Sorry you are so down and herting so much I truley wish I could help but I am no doctor.I found my doctor in Sacramento to give me the surgery I needed but it is a large HMO and if I didnt belong to them I would have been on my own to.I do remember you and its good to see you back again if nothing more then vent.

Hi Polecat. Sorry your life isn't meeting your expectations. I don't know what town your in that is so bad, but can't you move? If it is a money thing, there must be some job you can do to make enough money to get out of there. Not that I can help, as I don't live close, but what is your education and what are you qualified to do? If you tell us what you are looking for, maybe there is someone on the board that can help. All it takes is someone who knows someone. I don't know if you are religious or not, but sometimes if you find the right church, they can help. If they don't help, they're not very Christian. I know you are having a rough time right now, but things will get better. Many of us are having bad times, me included. All you can do is hope and pray that you will get a break. Keep your hopes up and try to make some new friends. Do something that you enjoy that doesn't cost anything. Hopefully things can't get worse, but can only get better. Keep in touch, you were gone too long.

Sorry to hear that things are not going well for you.

I don't think you should give up so quickly. One thing I have learned is that just because something you want does not happen right away does not mean it will never happen. Castration certainly fits this idea. Many want castration more than anything, and yet so few are able to obtain it. Those who do obtain it are usually people who have waited for a long time and did not give up.

I know what it is like to not have insurance or a job. I actually could have a job if I went out and looked for one (albeit an entry-level job), but I am choosing to focus my time on school. And I have been without insurance for about a year and a half now. Furthermore, I have just learned I cannot get insurance even if I am able and willing to pay for it due to my castration.

I am definitely not a fan of the pharmaceutical industry either. But you need not be dependent upon them. I have chosen to use their services because I feel more comfortable doing so. But if you do not want to take anything after castration, then don't take anything. If you can stand the lower energy levels and are willing to eat right and exercise to prevent osteo, there is really no conclusive proof of any other damaging health effects from castration.

Are you willing to settle for an entry-level job if you do not have any marketable skills? That's better than nothing at least. If you do have marketable skills, you should definitely be able to use them to find a job somewhere if you cannot where you are now. Do you have a college degree? If so, how about searching for something related to your degree? If not, how about going to school and seeing if you can get money that way? (That is how I paid for my surgery)

Maybe you will not be castrated this year. Maybe it will not even be next year. But I have a feeling that someday you will come across what you are looking for. Just have to be patient, which is something I struggle with too. If you want to chat at all just let me know