Good afternoon to all,

My real name is Zach but pls refer to me as nutless_sac as that is what I wish to achieve someday. I am new to the archives though not new to the ideas of castration and eunuchism.

I have been browsing the eunuch archives for a couple of weeks now and I have learned so much about why I have had these thoughts of gender confusion since before I can even remember when I was a child.

One of my first thoughts about this I remember is when I was riding in the car with my mother. We lived in Rapid City, SD, I was 5 years old at the time. I am 29 now. I asked my mother why I was a boy. I wanted to be a girl. In typical shocked mid-western appall my mother responded with something short and to the point of to bad so sad deal with what you got!

For some reason that has just never sat well with me. I have always felt different. Acted different, and really just lived life by my rules. I have always wondered what it would be like to be the other sex. As time has gone on I have gotten involved in other things that have taken my mind off of it but I keep coming back to the fact that I do not like my testicles, and its not necessarily that I want to be female but I feel I would be happier as a female or without the dreaded T coursing through my veins. I am a complete sexaholic and my wife will attribute to that.

Through out high school and college all my best friends were always girls. I have always gotten along better with the female sex. Don't get me wrong there though I do love women and not to be confusing but I am married for 6 years to a wonderful woman and we have a 3 year old daughter.

But more recently in the last year I have been going through some changes in my life, and I find it more comfortable to wear womens underwear. In fact all the underwear I have now is female. Calvin Klein thongs, and boy shorts. I also wear womens shorts and some shirts. I am very metrosexual and So my wife asked me why I find it more comfortable. She asks me am I gay? There is no way that could be as I am male and I don't like other men in that way. SO how could I be gay I ask her in return.

So here I am exploring the many possibilities in life and I believe through this site I am beginning to figure out what my true gender is.

I look forward to chatting with so many of you as I have read so many great and wonderful stories, tales, trials, and tribulations.

Thanks for your time and listening,

nutless_sac

I wish you find your way someday. it's not so easy for many of us .

Here, I could learn and understand much, and I know better now what I want. And I know I'm not alone in this situation : male? female? other choice?

You're not alone here : good luck

(sorry for my english, I'm french)

jehan (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:03 pm I wish you find your way someday. it's not so easy for many of us .

Here, I could learn and understand much, and I know better now what I want. And I know I'm not alone in this situation : male? female? other choice?

You're not alone here : good luck

(sorry for my english, I'm french)

Thank you, and same to you I hope you find what you feel is right!

Welcome Hello nutless_sac, yep there is ALOT of nice folks in here to whom you can relate to.I may not be able to help but still would not mind chatting with you at times.Hope you really do find with it is you are truely searching for in life and happiness. Until later!

Christie

Welcome to the zoo. Read, ask questions. Most of us are quite friendly and only bite when asked to. --FLO--

Welcome to a wonderful site whose keynote is tolerance and understanding: straight, gay, those who have gone all the way and been castrated, those who are contempleting it and those who (like me) know that it's best to keep castration in the world of fantasy. As you can see from many avatars (including my own) a whole variety of gender identities are present. And when a member is in a crisis or semi-crisis you'll see other members falling over themselves to offer the best advice they can. This is real "family" and welcome to it.

Hiya matey! Others have said it before, but a BIG welcome to our family! HUGS

nutless_sac, You are definitely in the right place and welcome. I am one of those that walks the same path as you describe. I've just been doing it longer. Gender Dysphoria is very difficult for everyone, especially for the women who's man has it. It is very difficult for a woman to understand why there husband wants to be a women. When they find out, they usually try to blame themselves for it or they want to know why you drug them into this. I have spent many years hoping it would go away, but the older I get, the worse it gets. My wife and I have been married almost 30 years and she hasn't dumped me yet, but it is a struggle for her. Like me, she is trying to cope. This is one of those conditions where you find yourself asking, why me? I have found there is a wealth of information at this site, maybe you will find something there that will help: http://www.firelily.com/gender/gianna/t ... nders.html

I was castrated and had my scrotum removed hoping that by getting rid of that which was most offensive to me would stop the feelings, I was wrong. Perhaps it didn't work because I am on testosterone replacement. I didn't want to go through the problems experienced by those that are hormone free. I also lean towards osteoporosis and I don't want that. I may have to try getting off the T or maybe going on Estrogen, I really don't know right now. It would really be good if you can afford it or have insurance, to see a gender therapist. They might be able to help you sort things out. Since you have been feeling this way your whole life, it is gender dysphoria and you are not gay, unless you want to consider yourself a lesbian.

There are many here that have the same feelings that you do. It's kind of weird how similar our stories are. No one really knows why we are the way we are, but there are many thousands of us. All you can do is find a place where you can deal with what you've been given. You probably can't do it alone. Just be careful in what you do as in some instances, there is no going back. That is why in those areas where you can, go on a test drive. If you think castration is the answer, try the chemical way first. I was hoping changing the physical would be enough, but I was wrong. Now if altering my hormones is not enough, I don't have the scrotal tissue needed for SRS. I'm probably too old to change my ways any way. I find it hard to imagine trying to be a 6'4" women.

Any way if we can help, don't be afraid to ask. Someone will have an answer.

Nutless_sac,

Welcome aboard. This is a friendly board and one I have been on for some time. The deal with becoming a girl is, to me, how well you can pass. I realize some have different opinions. I just don't pass worth a hoot (period.) If I could, I probably would have gone the TS route some years back. As it stands, I have a good life and look forward to the rest of it.

My only other comment is that one should consider every step carefully. If you decide to take hormones, find a good doctor. They are around, but require some looking. Hormones should not be played with casually. I have not seen you so cannot comment on how well you might be able to pass.

Anyway, good luck and do not be afraid to ask questions.

REgards,

WOW! What a warm and inviting welcome. I am feeling better already. I must say that I have learned a lot from this site and I hope in turn I will be able to give back.

Again, thank you for the warm welcome and

nutless_sac (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 27, 2007 11:49 am I look forward to chatting with

all of you soon.