I believe I had a normal childhood but was a slightly late starter on the sex scene but have never been a player so to speak.As I have got older I have developed an interest in ball busting play.I like to punch my own testicles during masturbation as this seems to to give me a better climax or use objects to hit my testicles.Now I have found sites showing guys having their balls busted by being kicked or kneed'd etc and want to now try this as it stimulates me.I also discovered this site all about male castration which really turns me on at the thought of losing my balls.The idea of them gone does not fill me with dread but rather an intense excitemant that they would be gone permanently and I would no longer be a slave to them or my penis.

My sex drive has never been what you would call high and Ive never been great at sex and this is why it does not deter me.

Am i makin sense and would love to hear from others about their experiences and also from genuine eunuchs as to their thoughts

OK, I'm replying to Mininuts. But I think this will be the eighth time I post a message here, and so far I haven't said much about my own predilections. So perhaps it's about time I gave everyone a bit of my personal history.

I'm old. Well, perhaps you guessed that from my ID. The urge, the desire is still present, but it needs help!

I don't look on myself as queer, yet I've known (or been known by) four guys in the last 30 years.

No, make that five.

I don't think I'm a cross-dresser. Well, OK, perhaps there is something of the tv within my psyche, but I haven't ever let it emerge. I always harboured the idea that I'd love to have an evening out with a truly convincing, genuinely feminine, passable cross-dresser, but the nearest I got to that was an afternoon with a guy who got off on wearing tights under his male clobber! I once made myself a sort of 'frock' by adding a skirt to a t-shirt, and I used to wear this in private because I liked the 'free' feeling it produced around my naughty bits, but I just don't have the physique to let me indulge in real femininity.

No, six. I forgot Roger.

So what about eunuchism?

I do fantasise about having a protrusion-free groin. Just fantasy though - it would take a real volte-face in my mentality to start looking for a cutter! The fantasy involves removal of the penis, with as much of its 'root' as possible, plus the scrotum and both balls. The urethra would be re-routed to (a) emerge as a hole behind where the scrotum used to be, or (b) link into the rectal cavity so that there would be only one external orifice.

That might become a hygiene problem, I know. But hell, this IS a fantasy!

Just imagine! I could get the relief of peeing without having to be at a urinal! I could hold it as if it were an enema until it was convenient to release it!

I wouldn't want a vagina.

But I don't really like the thought of surrendering my testicles. My hormone balance is precious to me, so it's a fantasy that will remain a fantasy, unlikely ever to be fulfilled.

Seven. Sorry Aidan, I shouldn't have overlooked you. It was fun!

I can't do ball busting. I'm a bit of a wimp, I suppose, and I just crease up even if I only accidentally tap them!. My own area of erotic pain-infliction centres on my anus, which has been known to admit toys of one sort or another measuring a little over ten inches in circumference. Even as I compose this message there's a - oh, well, perhaps you wouldn't want to know.

Where ball pain's concerned, I'm more of an inflicter than a sufferer. Aidan was my best friend for this. I'm sure his pain threshold was way, way beyond my own. I will admit to enjoying the feel of a vulnerable pair of testicles in my curled-up fingers.

Eight, if I count Trevor. Trevor was the only friend I had during my early school days who evinced any interest in gay sex. We never got anywhere though - nobody told us about KY!

I think that's it. Eight. No one else!

Yet.

I've also had fanstasies about being hit, whalloped or kneeed in the balls....

San-Bao