The ten commandments
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 8:39 am
Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and
a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives
treat husbands like toxic waste.
Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Bonus (Story)
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned
over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish
too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really
works!"
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and
a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives
treat husbands like toxic waste.
Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Bonus (Story)
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned
over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish
too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really
works!"
