• Does it get any better?

Posted: **Thu May 10, 2007 3:50 pm**

I was hoping that by being castrated and having my scrotum removed I would remove what was the most offensive to me and that would be enough. I guess I was wrong. If I wasn't in my present situation with my back problems and up coming surgery, I could try backing off or quiting the testosterone replacement, but I'm not really crazy about trading my gender feelings for the no hormone feelings. I would really like to feminize, but I don't know how that would work out for me in my situation. I'm 55, 6'4" 240lb. balding and not womanly at all. The older I get, the worse it gets. It's a good thing I'm not suicidal and have my faith to fall back on. I don't want to put my wife through anything else. She is teetering on the edge now with what we've gone through with my gender issues so far and with dealing with my back. She is my strength and I put way too much on her. Does anyone have any ideas or any

? This is really the pits.

Posted: **Thu May 10, 2007 5:09 pm**

Hairless (imported) wrote: Thu May 10, 2007 3:50 pm I was hoping that by being castrated and having my scrotum removed I would remove what was the most offensive to me and that would be enough. I guess I was wrong.

I don't want to put my wife through anything else. She is teetering on the edge now with what we've gone through with my gender issues so far and with dealing with my back. She is my strength and I put way too much on her. Does anyone have any ideas or any ? This is really the pits.

You need to take this one step at a time. Too many negative vibes all at once make one depressed.

First - get your back fixed. That should make you feel physically much better. Then you can try to resolve your other issues.

Hang in there.

Posted: **Thu May 10, 2007 6:16 pm**

Yes take it one day at a time. The physical removal of body parts is only part of it all. The mental part is more unpredictable. Keep changing your body from male hormones to no hormones and to female hormones is very hard physically and mentally.

I am speaking on what I have heard from others on the female hormones. I just went to no hormones. It is very important to be able to have your wife help you through this. Some are very understanding. Hopefully she will stand by you. All that you are going through in your changes effect her as well.

You have friends in here that have gone though the very same thing. I am sure some will offer there help and advice.

I wish you the very best.

Posted: **Fri May 11, 2007 4:21 am**

maybe try to find someone on here who has a wife that has gone thru the same things you both are going thru. Hook her up to also have some support from the outside and maybe she won't feel so islolated and alone dealing with all the changes!

Posted: **Fri May 11, 2007 6:00 pm**

Hairless (imported) wrote: Thu May 10, 2007 3:50 pm I was hoping that by being castrated and having my scrotum removed I would remove what was the most offensive to me and that would be enough. I guess I was wrong. If I wasn't in my present situation with my back problems and up coming surgery, I could try backing off or quiting the testosterone replacement, but I'm not really crazy about trading my gender feelings for the no hormone feelings. I would really like to feminize, but I don't know how that would work out for me in my situation. I'm 55, 6'4" 240lb. balding and not womanly at all. The older I get, the worse it gets. It's a good thing I'm not suicidal and have my faith to fall back on. I don't want to put my wife through anything else. She is teetering on the edge now with what we've gone through with my gender issues so far and with dealing with my back. She is my strength and I put way too much on her. Does anyone have any ideas or any ? This is really the pits.

No hormones (or in my case low) didn't work for me. If your having Gender ID issues I would advise getting a complete hormone panel done. Is your T in a "healthy" zone? It it converting to high levels of Estrogen? I'm not saying this will swing a person from male to female but it can do some weird stuff when its all out of wack. I think taking care of your pain issues is good to get taken care of. That will give you some space to decide what you really want to do. And DO talk to your doctor. They may have some suggestions on how to proceed that will be of help.

Good luck and God Bless you!

Posted: **Fri May 11, 2007 6:49 pm**

I can only reiterate what everyone else has already stated. Your health issues need to be resolved (your back) first off, and talk to your wife (which I assume you have) but at deeper sense. You may be surprized to find out that she is stronger than you realize. Then things can progress from there without added mental stress.As for your size, that is not a major issue either, but one step at a time.

Take care!! Christie

Posted: **Sat May 12, 2007 4:15 pm**

Hi Hairless,

You could experiment with a low dose of estrogen (in place of testosterone). For whatever reason, it moderates my GID. Just having a Climara 50 patch on for 7 days out of 28 provides noticeable mental benefits (7 days on, 21 days off).

Of course, it's not a panacea. Without testosterone, one's emotions can go thru the roof. Unloosed emotions may make your wife uneasy. And estrogen only moderates the feelings; it doesn't make them go away. Even with estrogen's benefits, I'd still rather die than have to deal with GID.

What have you got to lose, just trying it? It will be hard to find a doctor to prescribe estrogen (I tried), so go the inhouse.com route.

At this low dose, I still don't have any breast development, just sensitive nipples. Jogging and running are out of the question, and carrying boxes against the chest is painful.

Hope you find something that works for you,

Terri

Posted: **Sat May 12, 2007 7:02 pm**

Thank you all for the advice. I do think I really need to get my back fixed before I do anything else. I need to get off the morphine and norco. Maybe those are what is causing my increase in gender feelings. I have to bide my time. Not because I want to, but because I have to. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.

Posted: **Sat May 12, 2007 7:17 pm**

My pain doctor and I had a long talk about Opiates and Testosterone. A guy with functioning testes taking opiates that he treats had a score of 50 on the Testosterone scale. Five zero! In otherwords his hormones were crazy mixed up. Your pain meds might very well be driving your levels to weird levels! Please be sure your testosterone levels are healthy and your off the opiates before you do anything with estrogen or start looking into GRS/SRS. Remember how hormones wire a person.

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