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Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 5:20 am
by twaddler (imported)
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
Re: Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 1:30 pm
by clapner (imported)
Did he say where Bill Clinton's clock was?
Re: Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 1:51 pm
by Kangan (imported)
clapner (imported) wrote: Mon May 07, 2007 1:30 pm
Did he say where Bill Clinton's clock was?
Never mind Bill's clock - I'll bet Hillary's is also in use as a ceiling fan.
Re: Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 11:12 pm
by DewMeAlso (imported)
Kangan (imported) wrote: Mon May 07, 2007 1:51 pm
Never mind Bill's clock - I'll bet Hillary's is also in use as a ceiling fan.
Actually, they use them both on high speed helicopters...
Re: Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 4:50 am
by kristoff
Dewmealso (imported) wrote: Mon May 07, 2007 11:12 pm
Actually, they use them both on high speed helicopters...
If that were the case, then Bush and Rove's are used as turbine fans on supersonic jets..... Ceiling fans would just be too slow
Re: Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 6:18 am
by wolverine1 (imported)
tanglog, u r a seriously funny guy!
Re: Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 11:03 am
by Dave (imported)
WHAT is on your nose?
A binder clip?
All I gotta say is, I didn't fart!
Re: Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 12:46 pm
by twaddler (imported)
Yup, some large ass paper clip. I really like how it feels to clip that to the skin on my hands and at that time I was drunk and tried to clip it on my nose just for the hell of it.
Re: Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 12:47 pm
by Dave (imported)
ok, I just never thought of using a binder clip that way. It must be a new thing.
Re: Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.
Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 3:40 pm
by Kangan (imported)
twaddler (imported) wrote: Tue May 08, 2007 12:46 pm
Yup, some large ass paper clip. I really like how it feels to clip that to the skin on my hands and at that time I was drunk and tried to clip it on my nose just for the hell of it.
On your nose? Why not get a bigger one and clip it lower down - much lower down.
