I originally asked this in Dingbat's thread after a long discussion about the differences between the sex's, but I have decided to not steal her thread and do my own. (sorry Dingbat, get well soon)

Anyway, I just want to know how everybody else feels about this, but plz don't be to technical, as u will make my head hurt. lol

Basiclly, what makes a male, male and a female, female?

i.e. hormones, physical, like genitals or mental like when I think I'm female, I am, that sort of thing.

I know this is a tremendously stupid question, but for someone like me, who is male and does not want to see myself as male, its a very good question.

Because finding out what makes us male, will help me to know what I have to do, not to be male, if that makes sense.

So I just want everybody's take on this plz

That is one loaded question. One that I feel can not be answered with an answer that will please everyone or one that everyone will agree with.

So for me I believe that what makes us male or female is our soul. I have the soul of an eunuch.

Everyone seems to have their own deification of what makes a person a sex. Having meet many Eunuch's there is no pattern that I can find on how they define them self after castration. For many having balls or not makes a person male. Others think them self as still fully male even after castration.

If you ask 10 people to define what sex is I bet you would get at least 10 different answers. Bet many would have more then one answer.

The only one that you should really listen to as to what defines a persons sex is to look inside of ones self. Only you can be the real judge of it.

From some of your other posts I think you maybe trying too hard to put solid walls around what male and female is all about. What is in your heart is what you are truly am. Do not try to make yourself fit into a box. Be yourself and go with your gut feelings.

Gender is both mental and physical. You may be able to change some of the physical appearance. Your mental state is with you and can not really be changed. I am guessing you have been struggling with this male/female thing for most of your life. There is a good number of people in this site that do not even consider them self any gender. You will not get all the answers right away. Most of us have struggled just as you are now doing. Take your time and let life lead you.

I echo the previous sentiments of other members... for me, i'm definitely in a male body (like duh!) and overall i'm happy with that... when I do eventually get castrated I intend to have a full set of implants to maintain the 'male appearance' despite being a eunuch.

My psyche on the other hand is very definitely more complicated... There is very large part of it (about 40%) that is male in every possible sense, right from how I think and act to my attitude in general, BUT there is also an equally large part that is female, with the all the feminine emotions and feelings attached to that (that doesn't mean I cry at bambi btw! jeez!) The remaining 20% is definitely asexual - not interested in anything related to either sex... it sounds strange but it's almost like a natural detachment from those feelings, kinda like 'switching off' I think is the best way to describe it.

Without wishing to sound preachy or sanctimonious, I would definitely recommend counselling to anyone having serious doubts / confusing issues as at the end of the day, a person like me is only talking for a personal viewpoint and not a professional one... It took me a long time to be comfortable with all the aspects of my personality and realise that we are all ultimately individuals... The idea of male/female is just another example of society forcing it's views on everyone that you must be one or the other, you can't be both or none...

In behavioral terms I believe there are as many things that can make you look male or female to someone else as there are aspects to any individual personality (lots and lots!!!!). Women and men as individuals can react in different ways to different circumstances and depending upon how you interpret the reaction from your perspective you can assign a level of maleness or femaleness to the response you observe.

From a purely physical aspect its is by definition secondry and primary sexual characteristics (hairy chest, beard, voice, and of course sexual aperatus).

I apreciate your question is motivated by a desire to appear more femnine however this desire will always be limited by the aspects and chartacteristics being judged by the observer and how they `weight`them

in terms of sexuality (just think of women you know and consider what aspects of their behaviour you consider masculine and how this may `rank`them in terms of femininity, someone else may rank them differently).

Consider who you wish to look femenine to and what traits they may consider feminine and try to behave accordingly. Good luck

confuzed (imported) wrote: Thu May 03, 2007 11:59 am I originally asked this in Dingbat's thread after a long discussion about the differences between the sex's, but I have decided to not steal her thread and do my own. (sorry Dingbat, get well soon)

Anyway, I just want to know how everybody else feels about this, but plz don't be to technical, as u will make my head hurt. lol

Basiclly, what makes a male, male and a female, female?

i.e. hormones, physical, like genitals or mental like when I think I'm female, I am, that sort of thing.

I remember reading the book "Everything you wanted to know about sex but was afraid to ask"

The author (I think) stated that M2F Transexuals were castrated men with surgical scars that resembled female sex organs. Now, having been here and had my own issues with hormones I've learned the power they exert in wiring us (me anyway) to be how I am. Then I see a "woman" like Dr Bowers who was born with male "parts" who has gone thru GRS and takes hormones and whew... A real "babe" for a castrated man with surgical scars that resemble female sex parts. And then I listened to a report of a "women" who was taking male hormones as she started her F2M sexual transition and I recognized all the "symptoms" of male puberty. I've never dabbled with Female hormones but I've talked to several members here who have and I believe that going on a lifetime path of that does change a persons wiring. Heck going on a normal level of male hormones changed the way I was wired! The GRS/SRS surgery clearly makes a person appear more like the new sex and I think that these folks that look at the XXs and YYs should try HRT for 6 months and find out whats really going on in the other half!

If you have any questions about your own sexuality why not sit down with an expert and see if they can help you define it for yourself?

I honestly don't know why I feel the way I do. I know hormones play a part in the way we feel, but there must be something deeper as well, or I would be happy to be what ever my hormones told me to be.

All I know is I tried every thing to makes these feelings go away, but they still persist. I know trying to make them go away hasn't made me happy, and so I decided to try accepting who I am inside. Surprisingly this makes me feel very good even though I am not on HRT at this moment.

What do other people see when they look at me? Mostly the outside I suppose.

Well I think as a being you need BOTh,,as anything in life a balance,,the question you ask is hard to answer mostly because it seems you are asking from 1 gender to another.The time spent in the gender you were born is ingrained and will never just "go away" and should you adopt another gender role then that life and it's expeiences will co exist with the original ones. I call it 3rd gender as you will see things from 2 points of view.Some things will remain the same some will change completely,,some reinvented.HRT will help to change a

visual image,and this in turn will change how you may act or fell about yourself,but it will not change you BRAIN. Who you are will remain the same,at some point you will find a happy medium and be comfortable in your own skin

and whoever that person is ,is what the real goal is about. Hope that all makes sense

confuzed (imported) wrote: Thu May 03, 2007 1:09 pm I know this is a tremendously stupid question, but for someone like me, who is male and does not want to see myself as male, its a very good question.

Because finding out what makes us male, will help me to know what I have to do, not to be male, if that makes sense.

So I just want everybody's take on this plz

O.K.,

You want an opinion, here's mine.

There are NO 100% male OR 100% female personalities. Instead, we are a complex makeup of traits, preferences and habits that define our masculinity or feminity.

You are what you percieve yourself as being. Your body is but a shell in which your soul resides. Your body can be changed more easily than can your soul.

Therefore, search your soul for your heart's desire. Generally, you are not what you are by mistake, but you are what you are because you were made that way by forces that humanity understands little about.

When you finally decide what it is that you are, and why you are the way you are, then you can live with yourself much more effectively or at least make plans to do so.

Seek fulfillment in youself. Do not look for fulfillment in others. That way, IF you are ever disappointed, you only have yourself to blame and to understand and to forgive. This is much easier than trying to understand the world which is generally a cruel and selfish place, seeking to overpower gentle souls and kind hearts.

Grow a thick hide to protect your inner child. Find a higher power to love and to respect that is strong, benevolent and kind. Load the things that you cannot handle in this world upon that higher power deferring to it's judgment, trusting in it's power and basking in it's glow. Do not take on things that you cannot hope to understand.

Finally, remember, if it is human, it usually cannot be trusted. If it is, however, spiritual and God-like, it will not let you down. Look for love and kindness, it is everywhere but it is not always recognizable.

Shun evil, ...evil thoughts, evil persons and evil deeds. Evil is a virle thing that once started CANNOT stop reproducing without being killed. Never start it yourself.