Wow.

Terrifying is right! -- Those little suckers ain't little.. That'd be like a six-foot man having a two foot penis. And what, pray tell, do you think you're going to do with that???

Nevermind, don't answer that!

Paolo asked : Ever Wonder How Turtles Do It?

Er, to be honest with you Paolo, now you come to mention it, no, I never have! However, since you posed the question I naturally felt obliged to hop on over to the link you so thoughtfully provided.

I think this is a case whereby Mrs Turtle could legitimately and physiologically claim to have a headache AFTER sex.

My initial distress has now subsided into a graceful gratitude that I will no longer have to fill my evenings giggling childishly at Google images of the Phallus Impudicus (http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=pha ... s&ct=title) which, as 'Mushroomexpert.com' helpfully tells us are "are amazing mushrooms, notorious for popping up suddenly and unexpectedly in urban settings. Their abrupt appearance in gardens and lawns is frequently the cause of considerable consternation; they arise from an "egg" ... quickly breaking the "shell" and thrusting themselves up to heights of nearly 10 inches in a matter of hours!"

Oh dear, too much time on my hands methinks!