Before we get to the question and discussion, there are some ground rules for this thread.
NUMBER 1: There are going to be NO bans resulting from any discussion on this thread.
NUMBER 2: Replies will NOT be edited or deleted by any of the moderators.
NUMBER 3: I want everyone to share their views on this question.
These are hard rules, being handed down from on high. I want honesty, not "yes-men". This is your archive too, but it may not be for long if you don't speak out. There is one other request though. Just because you will not be tossed does not mean you should start attacking others. This isn't a rule, but I'm asking all of you to try and remain polite and friendly. Surely you can get your message across without personal attacks or insults.
DISCUSSION 1:
Having watched the message board for awhile, and thinking back to how things were years back, I have to wonder if the EA is as open and friendly a place as it was in the past.
This question has been brought home repeatedly, and I know I'm not the only one asking it. I've been sent email from several members who tell me that they either are leaving, or are thinking of leaving, because they feel things are out of control, not as welcoming or open as they used to be. In short, because the message board isn't a nice place to hang out anymore.
I know I'm not even the only 'official' here, who wonders if it's changed. I know for a fact there are two who do feel it's changed, and for the worse.
I don't want to assign blame. That is not my intent. Since I'm currently the head of the EA, I take the blame and the responsibility. Put the issue aside.
What I want to know is, do you feel the EA has become less open and friendly? What would help make it more so? Why is it not anymore?
Remember, I guarantee no one will punish you for speaking your mind.
Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?
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BossTamsin (imported)
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Falcon (imported)
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Re: Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?
Thanks for opening this discussion, IE. As with anything that experiences growth, things do change with the number of people involved, the number of posts, and so on. I don't know if this is "worse" or just "different."
I do think that the tone of the message boards has changed. Reading posts, it seems that there are some people who are VERY quick to criticize or make negative comments to people. Sure, we've all seen lots of people come and go, and yes, a lot of guys visit here just as a wanking outlet, but I think we need more courtesy and understanding.
It seems to me that just about everyone here who is "serious" about genital mods of any kind started out curious and nervous. And a lot of them were here for a long time just wanking before they came to understand what the interest in this site was about FOR THEM. I know that I visited many, many times before I actually decided that I would go on Androcur, and it took a long time for me to understand that I wanted the real thing, and to find ways for that to happen. I'm sure it would have been more difficult if I had received discourteous responses to questions I posted here.
Obviously, like any internet site, there are nitwits. The guy whose first post is "Where can I find a Cutter in Punxsutawney" should expect to be informed of policies and what is an appropriate post. If that turns him off, that's unfortunate. However, it might create a more welcoming environment if he was told, "That's not an appropriate post. Why don't you read more of the postings and discussions, and learn more about things? We're glad you're here, but we do have rules."
The political and social discussions can be fun, but they need to be clearly separate from the castration discussion. And they should never be angry; folks who make angry comments on the board should read them aloud before they post and see how they sound. I don't think there is ever a place for advocating violence here or on any site.
One thing that I think might be a plus would be an ongoing thread or subsection open to long-standing members, people on anti-testosterone meds, or actual eunuchs. Perhaps an ongoing discussion by experienced folks might help the curious, the confused, and the newbies sort things out.
Finally, I have to thank EVERYONE who makes this place possible. Your work is underappreciated, and we don't acknowledge you all often enough. I can remember when my only link to this community was the occasional ad in "Drummer" (yes, I got a letter from Bodkin LOL). And I remember when you would wait for ages in the chat room before ONE other person would appear. This has come a long way since BBoy, Shannon, and all, got it going. I hope it remains a positive place for anyone who drops in.
My 2 cents.
Terry
Pittsburgh
I do think that the tone of the message boards has changed. Reading posts, it seems that there are some people who are VERY quick to criticize or make negative comments to people. Sure, we've all seen lots of people come and go, and yes, a lot of guys visit here just as a wanking outlet, but I think we need more courtesy and understanding.
It seems to me that just about everyone here who is "serious" about genital mods of any kind started out curious and nervous. And a lot of them were here for a long time just wanking before they came to understand what the interest in this site was about FOR THEM. I know that I visited many, many times before I actually decided that I would go on Androcur, and it took a long time for me to understand that I wanted the real thing, and to find ways for that to happen. I'm sure it would have been more difficult if I had received discourteous responses to questions I posted here.
Obviously, like any internet site, there are nitwits. The guy whose first post is "Where can I find a Cutter in Punxsutawney" should expect to be informed of policies and what is an appropriate post. If that turns him off, that's unfortunate. However, it might create a more welcoming environment if he was told, "That's not an appropriate post. Why don't you read more of the postings and discussions, and learn more about things? We're glad you're here, but we do have rules."
The political and social discussions can be fun, but they need to be clearly separate from the castration discussion. And they should never be angry; folks who make angry comments on the board should read them aloud before they post and see how they sound. I don't think there is ever a place for advocating violence here or on any site.
One thing that I think might be a plus would be an ongoing thread or subsection open to long-standing members, people on anti-testosterone meds, or actual eunuchs. Perhaps an ongoing discussion by experienced folks might help the curious, the confused, and the newbies sort things out.
Finally, I have to thank EVERYONE who makes this place possible. Your work is underappreciated, and we don't acknowledge you all often enough. I can remember when my only link to this community was the occasional ad in "Drummer" (yes, I got a letter from Bodkin LOL). And I remember when you would wait for ages in the chat room before ONE other person would appear. This has come a long way since BBoy, Shannon, and all, got it going. I hope it remains a positive place for anyone who drops in.
My 2 cents.
Terry
Pittsburgh
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Kangan (imported)
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Re: Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?
I've seen my share of "flaming" on here and also a few folks have been banned for various reasons. So far, this doesn't seem to be much different than other non-Ea sites.
However, there are a few folks who have taken extreme exception to something that was said and either "flamed" the poster, or the poster quit in disgust to the "flames."
Patience, people. Words said (or typed) in anger can be the most devasting (and the hardest to retract gracefully).
Let's tone down the Ego's a bit. Think before you post. Peace.
However, there are a few folks who have taken extreme exception to something that was said and either "flamed" the poster, or the poster quit in disgust to the "flames."
Patience, people. Words said (or typed) in anger can be the most devasting (and the hardest to retract gracefully).
Let's tone down the Ego's a bit. Think before you post. Peace.
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sag111 (imported)
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Re: Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?
Unfriendly YES it is as i am a republican and as i read the posts on this i see i am not wanted in here and am even told i should be shot.How can we say this and then condem thoes who kill like in Virgina.No i dont like people who want to kill me
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estragen (imported)
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PitLoverVA (imported)
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Re: Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?
First off, I want to thank you, IEunuch, for starting this converstation. For many of us, this place has been very special for a long time, and I greatly appreciate the opportunity for the community to talk about how to make it thrive as an open and friendly place where people of all genital modification interests feel welcome and accepted.
Things have changed over the years, there's no doubt about that. Some of those changes have been wonderful -- giving us a more robust forum, chat room and story archive. Some of those changes have been necessary, whether they are pleasant or not -- due to past hacking attacks on the site and extraordinary growth, it's only natural that the community has had to circle the wagons somewhat and draw bright lines that keep the place working. Regardless, I want to thank everyone who has put in long hours of dedication to making this place what it is.
But there have been other changes, as well, gradual changes in atmosphere and attitude that do make the Archive and especially the forums a less welcoming place. Recently, this trend seems to be accelerating.
Some of these developments stem from the natural tendency of people to group together by interest, temperment, or position, creating an us v. them attitude and an overall lower level of acceptance and civility. Another part of the gradual change is no doubt precipitated by the isularity of our comminuty -- because of our interests, desires and/or choices, we all face anxieties and fears of being attacked, marginalized or worse, and this tends to lead us to have defensive responses to questions, criticism and new-comers. Finally, growth itself is part of the problem -- the more personalities involved in the community, whether on the participant or staff level, the more likelihood there will be significant clashes of style and expectations. None of these factors are particularly new or unique to the Archive, and none of them has an easy solution.
What does strike me as new and particularly toxic to the community atmosphere is the recent tendency of posters and moderators alike to squelch dissenting or idiosyncratic or implausible or just plain weird points of view, often with a dismissive, high-handed, "my way or the highway" manner. People who complain or criticize the conventional wisdom, even constructively, have been told if they don't like it here, leave, things aren't going to change. This attitude certainly isn't unique to the Archive, but it is relatively new.
I don't think of myself as a rabblerouser, and I'm not the sort of person who flames, makes personal attacks, or argues for the sake of scoring points. Nor am I a shrinking violet with a thin skin. But to put things bluntly, over recent months I've felt the need to self-censor myself repeatedly to avoid being attacked or risk being banned because of my ideas or recent developments in my life. Even when I think I have something of value to offer, it's not worth risking the stress and upset it would cause after seeing how others have been treated. I'm not going to discuss individuals or specific instances, but I'm guessing most of you have a sense of the types of things I'm talking about. Honestly, I'm having to question whether this is the community for me, and that's particularly sad given that this trend is so antithetical to the explicit message upon which the Archive was founded.
As for a solution, I'm not quite sure what to offer, but I really, sincerely want to find one. I've stepped away from the Archive before -- first because of anxiety and self-loathing as I first began to explore my desires and later due to my sadness when we lost Bboy -- it left a hole in my life both times.
The only prescription I have is a generalized one. It's going to take both individual responsibility and collective action. Chat participants and forum posters are going to have to be more serious about being open, accepting, respectful and civil -- many already do this, and I applaud them, but just a few bad apples can spoil the whole bushel. From the collective standpoint, it strikes me that we also need a renewed commitment from administrators and moderators to foster the environment we want. There's no doubt that the people responsible for running this site have a deep sense of commitment and dedication to the project, but sometimes human beings lose sight of the forest for the trees. In either case, a quick one-liner or a snide, point-scoring comment isn't worth making people feel unwelcomed.
We're all adults here, I hope, and yes, we should act like it. We also have to keep in mind that this comminuty includes people going through a new type of adolescence, an exploration of a new sexuality. Questions, criticism, craziness, oddness, woundedness, sadness, fear, empowerment, exhilaration, silliness, excitement, passion, belligerance, satisfaction, defensiveness, and flourishing are all appropriate and natural parts of our comminity. But each interaction we have on the Archive leaves an imprint on this place and on others. Feel what you feel, say what you have to say, but always remember that we're in this together.
Kevin
Things have changed over the years, there's no doubt about that. Some of those changes have been wonderful -- giving us a more robust forum, chat room and story archive. Some of those changes have been necessary, whether they are pleasant or not -- due to past hacking attacks on the site and extraordinary growth, it's only natural that the community has had to circle the wagons somewhat and draw bright lines that keep the place working. Regardless, I want to thank everyone who has put in long hours of dedication to making this place what it is.
But there have been other changes, as well, gradual changes in atmosphere and attitude that do make the Archive and especially the forums a less welcoming place. Recently, this trend seems to be accelerating.
Some of these developments stem from the natural tendency of people to group together by interest, temperment, or position, creating an us v. them attitude and an overall lower level of acceptance and civility. Another part of the gradual change is no doubt precipitated by the isularity of our comminuty -- because of our interests, desires and/or choices, we all face anxieties and fears of being attacked, marginalized or worse, and this tends to lead us to have defensive responses to questions, criticism and new-comers. Finally, growth itself is part of the problem -- the more personalities involved in the community, whether on the participant or staff level, the more likelihood there will be significant clashes of style and expectations. None of these factors are particularly new or unique to the Archive, and none of them has an easy solution.
What does strike me as new and particularly toxic to the community atmosphere is the recent tendency of posters and moderators alike to squelch dissenting or idiosyncratic or implausible or just plain weird points of view, often with a dismissive, high-handed, "my way or the highway" manner. People who complain or criticize the conventional wisdom, even constructively, have been told if they don't like it here, leave, things aren't going to change. This attitude certainly isn't unique to the Archive, but it is relatively new.
I don't think of myself as a rabblerouser, and I'm not the sort of person who flames, makes personal attacks, or argues for the sake of scoring points. Nor am I a shrinking violet with a thin skin. But to put things bluntly, over recent months I've felt the need to self-censor myself repeatedly to avoid being attacked or risk being banned because of my ideas or recent developments in my life. Even when I think I have something of value to offer, it's not worth risking the stress and upset it would cause after seeing how others have been treated. I'm not going to discuss individuals or specific instances, but I'm guessing most of you have a sense of the types of things I'm talking about. Honestly, I'm having to question whether this is the community for me, and that's particularly sad given that this trend is so antithetical to the explicit message upon which the Archive was founded.
As for a solution, I'm not quite sure what to offer, but I really, sincerely want to find one. I've stepped away from the Archive before -- first because of anxiety and self-loathing as I first began to explore my desires and later due to my sadness when we lost Bboy -- it left a hole in my life both times.
The only prescription I have is a generalized one. It's going to take both individual responsibility and collective action. Chat participants and forum posters are going to have to be more serious about being open, accepting, respectful and civil -- many already do this, and I applaud them, but just a few bad apples can spoil the whole bushel. From the collective standpoint, it strikes me that we also need a renewed commitment from administrators and moderators to foster the environment we want. There's no doubt that the people responsible for running this site have a deep sense of commitment and dedication to the project, but sometimes human beings lose sight of the forest for the trees. In either case, a quick one-liner or a snide, point-scoring comment isn't worth making people feel unwelcomed.
We're all adults here, I hope, and yes, we should act like it. We also have to keep in mind that this comminuty includes people going through a new type of adolescence, an exploration of a new sexuality. Questions, criticism, craziness, oddness, woundedness, sadness, fear, empowerment, exhilaration, silliness, excitement, passion, belligerance, satisfaction, defensiveness, and flourishing are all appropriate and natural parts of our comminity. But each interaction we have on the Archive leaves an imprint on this place and on others. Feel what you feel, say what you have to say, but always remember that we're in this together.
Kevin
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BossTamsin (imported)
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Re: Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?
E
As I said, you're not gonna be punished for honesty. Please feel free to be as honest as you can.
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numnuts (imported)
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Re: Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?
Maybe some people are just too sensitive? I mean, if you're gonna go crawl under a rock because someone calls you a nappy headed eunuch, then maybe you need to grow a set of balls!
Okay, forget I even said that. That whole paragraph is fuct up.
My appologies to Pearl. Now where was that Tequila Sunrise I had sittin' around.......... oh there it is!
Stay Strong, People. Why smell that way if you don't act that way?
That's it! I'm banning myself! Ultra Ban that is! It's not just for under the arms anymore. Behind the knees and between the cheeks won't do you no harm.
Okay, I better go before I get silly.
Okay, forget I even said that. That whole paragraph is fuct up.
My appologies to Pearl. Now where was that Tequila Sunrise I had sittin' around.......... oh there it is!
Stay Strong, People. Why smell that way if you don't act that way?
That's it! I'm banning myself! Ultra Ban that is! It's not just for under the arms anymore. Behind the knees and between the cheeks won't do you no harm.
Okay, I better go before I get silly.
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Slammr (imported)
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Re: Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?
I think some moderators might wield their power to ban too freely. Piss one moderator off, and you're gone. Granted, seeing only what's on the message board might not give a clear picture of what's going on behind the scene, exchange of emails or pm's between the offender and moderator, but it gives the appearance of arbitrary action by a moderator. I think perhaps there should be an explanation given when someone is banned, otherwise all we see is that someone has been banned for little apparent reason. If someone constantly flames other people, he should be banned, but not for just pissing a moderator off.
Also, some seem to think that this should be a forum only for "real" eunuchs.
People wanting to talk about castration fantasies are often put down by real eunuchs on the board. Most people showed up here in the first place because of the castration fantasies they had, not because they were already eunuchs. If this is to be a forum for eunuchs only, so be it, but that's not how it was when I first arrived here in 2002 (damn...it's been that long?). Real eunuchs should realize that some people just want to fantasize about castration, and that those people shouldn't be put down for their fantasies. Certainly, there's a place for serious talk, and a distinction should be made between fantasy and reality, but let's don't make all discussion so serious.
How about allowing a little fun and fantasy on the board once again? Bboy started this board and the story archive because of his fantasy. He actively encouraged fantasies then, penectomy fantasies in particular. Now, I get the impression from replies from some members, the serious eunuchs, "If you're here to wank off, to get turned on, leave. We don't want you."
Let some have their serious discussions and let others talk about their fantasies without being put down for having them.
The message board has become all to serious. It's not a fun place to hang out.
Also, some seem to think that this should be a forum only for "real" eunuchs.
People wanting to talk about castration fantasies are often put down by real eunuchs on the board. Most people showed up here in the first place because of the castration fantasies they had, not because they were already eunuchs. If this is to be a forum for eunuchs only, so be it, but that's not how it was when I first arrived here in 2002 (damn...it's been that long?). Real eunuchs should realize that some people just want to fantasize about castration, and that those people shouldn't be put down for their fantasies. Certainly, there's a place for serious talk, and a distinction should be made between fantasy and reality, but let's don't make all discussion so serious.
How about allowing a little fun and fantasy on the board once again? Bboy started this board and the story archive because of his fantasy. He actively encouraged fantasies then, penectomy fantasies in particular. Now, I get the impression from replies from some members, the serious eunuchs, "If you're here to wank off, to get turned on, leave. We don't want you."
Let some have their serious discussions and let others talk about their fantasies without being put down for having them.
The message board has become all to serious. It's not a fun place to hang out.
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OneBallBoi (imported)
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Re: Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?
There was a time that I spent hours in the chat room. This is going back to 2001 and 2002. There were people there that wanted to talk and chatted with me. Now I go in there and almost no on talks to me. I enjoy the message board greatly. See people there that seem intelligent and great. I like the personalities there. I enjoy reading of others experiences using Chemical Castration drugs and others experience in surgical castration.