I guess i'm posting this on the off chance it will make something happen someday. Though, I really doubt it. Just had to get it out. I've been fantasizing about losing my genitals for a very long time. Since I was 13 or so. It started mostly as a castration fantasy, but then slowly became a nullification fantasy, and then grew more complex. Now, the end result I would want, would be to lose my cock, and one of my balls. I want the other ball left to leave me a sex drive. The thing that makes this a fantasy that I doubt will ever come true is I could never willingly give in to it. It's part of my fantasy that it be essentially against my will. While I couldn't willingly do it,..it really is something I want, and that sucks. The other thing that makes it more difficult, is I really want it to be done in a special way. I dont' want to be numbed, I dont' want it surgical. I want it painful, and creative. Done in some really sadisitic way. I would love it to be part of a group rape. Really long, drawn out, giving me time to appreciate, and feel what's happening to me. When I think about it, it's even mroe complex, but that's the essence. I really wish someone would just discover where I am, know I really want it, and just kidnap me, and take it from me. Or set up a meeting i think will just be a normal S/M session, and take it the step farther. As for now, I'll just have to keep dreaming.

Be careful what you wish for.... Your fantasy sounds really nasty - if it came true I really doubt that you would enjoy it. Stay safe.

I really think you ought to try some time with chemical castration, my bets are your fantasy will

fade away,

far better to try that route, and find out whether you can handle being without anything working,

I only had one out, and it dropped me low enough, that everything pretty much quit till I got on the

androgel, frustrating to say the least, when you really were not expecting it,

as to the pain thing, I have put up with testical and cord pain for along time, with occasional spells of

laying on the floor, doubled over and trying to heave up at the same time ,

what you mention, of wanting,I think, you would pass out from the pain, early on in the show

like kangan said, becareful what you wish for,

best regards,

I don't want to lose my sex drive, so the chemicals really wouldn't work for me. Plus, as much as I really want to lose them, it just doesn't fit in with how I've always wanted it. Not to mention, I just don't think I could bring myself to do anything to myself, I've always been sub, and want it forced upon me.