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The Colostomizer

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 10:07 pm
by numnuts (imported)
I was wondering, with so many guys that would like to mutiliate or divest themselves of their penises, testicles, or both... is there anyone here who has a desire to rid themselves of their rectums?

Uranus you say? No dobut! Hey, I used to own a couple cars, BUT I RECTUM! Drunk as a Sailor too!

BUTT seriously, all sphincters aside, does anyone have a desire for a colostomy bag? And what DOES happen to the vacant anus after the bypass? (Btw, there's a bartender from boulder who makes a great 'Vacant Anus'. He just needs to learn how to flush)

Anyway, after the bypass, can you use the back door for storage? Like, can you keep your keys up your ass when you go jogging? Change? Can you bend over and fart enough for the parking meter? What about loose tootsie rolls for a quick pick me up?

🍑👋

Re: The Colostomizer

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 9:50 am
by Uncle Flo (imported)
EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! (personal opinion-not to be relied on by others) --FLO--

Re: The Colostomizer

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 10:15 am
by tugon (imported)
Having worked in healthcare and helping newly colostomized patients I have to second Uncle Flo's comment. Surgery of that type is performed after something terribly wrong has happened and the rectum is usually closed unless the colostomy is only a temporary need. There is great pain due to the incredible rerouting of the body's plumbing. There is much embarrassment at first for the patient as they adapt to their new way of living. Imagine being someone with a colostomy at a nice gathering and your collection bag falls off. Tough way to live and you still need to keep your keys and candies in your pocket.

Re: The Colostomizer

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:11 am
by numnuts (imported)
What if they person is gay, and their rectum is their primary sexual outlet? (Or Inlet) Is closeing off the rectum and option, or necessity?

Re: The Colostomizer

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 5:20 pm
by kristoff
numnuts (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:11 am What if they person is gay, and their rectum is their primary sexual outlet? (Or Inlet) Is closeing off the rectum and option, or necessity?

It is possible to leave a pouch.

Re: The Colostomizer

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:07 pm
by 1tc (imported)
On the other hand, you can skip the operation, stick a colostomy bag on your abdomen with the car keys and candies in it. I know this isn't the real thing but it gets close.

Re: The Colostomizer

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 8:04 pm
by numnuts (imported)
The car keys and candies are supposed to be in the rectum, not the bag! If the bag is the new exit, what the heck do you want the keys and candy in it for? That's just plain downright altogether nasty.

Re: The Colostomizer

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 8:08 pm
by numnuts (imported)
kristoff wrote: Sat Feb 03, 2007 5:20 pm It is possible to leave a pouch.

Pouch? Pouch for what? Who wants a pouch where their asshole was? Isn't having a bag enough? How would they sit down with a pouch on their asshole? They don't want to keep a kangaroo warm! They just want an orifice for fornication. Soldomy 'n such. What's wrong with leaving a foot of sphincter for the savage in you? OR Sailor, whoever cums first.

Re: The Colostomizer

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 8:11 pm
by Riverwind (imported)
You have got to be kidding, I know someone who has a bag and he and I can tell you its not much fun. It only takes about 2 hours to get ready to go someplace but plan to be back in about 4 hours. Forget long trips, you just wont be able to handle the trip. This is a last resort operation and you think you want this? your nuts.

River

Re: The Colostomizer

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 9:27 pm
by kristoff
numnuts (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 03, 2007 8:08 pm Pouch? Pouch for what? Who wants a pouch where their asshole was? Isn't having a bag enough? How would they sit down with a pouch on their asshole? They don't want to keep a kangaroo warm! They just want an orifice for fornication. Soldomy 'n such. What's wrong with leaving a foot of sphincter for the savage in you? OR Sailor, whoever cums first.

It is not like a kangaroo pouch. Essentially they leave the rectum in place and tie of the inside end. There is a place to make deposits, I suppose including keys.... Ergo, good old butt fucking is still possible. Otherwise, put your legs together and use the thighs...