After some interesting private communications with fellow eunuchs, I am sensing a common (although far from universal) feeling of not being totally "happy" or "at ease" or "accepting" of the fact of being a eunuch. Some had it thrust upon them for medical reasons, some opted in but later saw more than what originally envisioned, etc. The preceding comments do not by any means suggest that all of them are always unhappy people, but rather that there are some regrets at having become a eunuch.

And so I am curious if others would like to share their viewpoints? Are you happy about being a eunuch? If you choose to respond, perhaps you could elaborate beyond just a simple "yes" or "no" type reply. Perhaps I should ask that only those that are castrated (either surgically or chemically) for at least one year respond, or at least identify the period of time involved upon which you base your comments.

BBare, you post a very interesting question that does not have a simple answer. My initial response to the question of happiness as a eunuch my answer is yes. I will have been a eunuch for 9 years this December and part of my answer about happiness stems from the fact that I am in control of myself and my behaviors. I was not comfortable as a male but the greatest need to be a eunuch stemmed from sexual addiction. I do not think I would be alive today if I did not end the addiction. The thrills needed to feed the addiction were becoming riskier. I did not much care what was done to me as long as it was a new thrill.

Once my levels dropped and the flood of emotions happened I had to deal with my life and what had been happening. I realized I had been controlled by addiction and an abuser. Without this connection with my emotions I would not have been able to heal. For the first time in a long time I realized I had emotional needs. I felt like for the first time I was becoming a real person. So again I have to say I am happy as a eunuch.

Would I choose to be a eunuch if I could be the person I am today with testicles? Maybe not. I just do not think I could have ever achieved what I have under the influence of testosterone. Do I miss being a little more sexual? Sometimes I miss the drive but I enjoy being in a committed relationship where I am not tempted to cheat. I enjoy my partner accepting me as a eunuch and knowing I am somewhere between male and female.

I think I am more comfortable with myself then ever before. Sure I would like to lose weight and I have other goals to achieve but when I think of myself and where I am today I am at peace. If I had any regrets in the early days they are out of memory now. If my testicles grew back and I became the person I was I would be on my way to Philidelphia.

... content deleted for brevity...Tugon, your reply is eactly the kind that I was hoping for -- a candid appraisal and sincere sharing. Thank you very much. Someday perhaps we will be able to meet in person. It would be my pleasure.

BudleyBare (imported) wrote: Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:19 am Tugon, your reply is eactly the kind that I was hoping for -- a candid appraisal and sincere sharing. Thank you very much. Someday perhaps we will be able to meet in person. It would be my pleasure.

I would enjoy meeting with you and the pleasure would be mutual.

the question of if i am happy being castrated is a mixed bag. For me it was always more a choice of aesthetics. the whole castration proccess was probably the most amazing experience of my life, and i am very happy where i am, however it has added an anchor to my life i tend to chaffe at, that being having to keep up with HRT. i am not a very organized person, and have had many episodes where i was late in injecting, and then comes the hot flashes.. all the while knowing that once it got that late it would be probably three days before the testosterone got me any relief. aside from this i am mostly happy to have gone ahead.

BudleyBare (imported) wrote: Thu Jun 29, 2006 5:29 am After some interesting private communications with fellow eunuchs, I am sensing a common (although far from universal) feeling of not being totally "happy" or "at ease" or "accepting" of the fact of being a eunuch. Some had it thrust upon them for medical reasons, some opted in but later saw more than what originally envisioned, etc. The preceding comments do not by any means suggest that all of them are always unhappy people, but rather that there are some regrets at having become a eunuch.

And so I am curious if others would like to share their viewpoints? Are you happy about being a eunuch? If you choose to respond, perhaps you could elaborate beyond just a simple "yes" or "no" type reply. Perhaps I should ask that only those that are castrated (either surgically or chemically) for at least one year respond, or at least identify the period of time involved upon which you base your comments.

Your simple question cannot in any event obtain a simple response.

Circumstances influence one's response. While I'm quite happy to be ballless and not be subject to tsticular pain, I've never sought to be a eunuch as in asexual. Yes, I'm happy to be ballless. OTOH, I'm sexual and am happy to be just that.

As to my overall happiness, I am in part because I have people around me that are warm, friendly and loving, especially my sexual and life partner.

I'm facinated by this question, and amazed that everyones responses seem similar to how I feel.

"regret" suggests a mistake, or something done that would/could (should?) have been done differently somehow. If I was not castrated when I was, I would still desire it now. It had been with me a long time and (I'm certain) would never have gone away.

It could be like saying "I regret being gay". You are simply acting on feelings you have no concious control over. You did not choose to feel that way, and therefore I wonder if 'regret' is really the correct word to use.

As one friend (who is gay) recently said to me "Sometimes I wonder if things could have been different ... if I was like everyone else, how much easier [to deal with] life would have been".

I still sometimes wonder if things could have been different. If I could be like all the other boys, enjoy a hyperactive libido, being very masculine and having lots of sexual thoughts. To not have had obsessive thoughts about castration, and to not have tried (rather pitifully) to castrate myself in my teens, it would have been nice to (from a purely statistical viewpoint) have been "normal".

But then that would not be me. And it hurts to start 'regretting' an integral part of yourself you are unable to change. So maybe there is an emotional investment which prevents oneself from regreting this action?

Again, I'm impressed by Roger's post -- as I am usually -- awed that one so young can seem so wise. I am not a eunuch, but obviously, I must have an interest in castration, since I've hung around this board for almost four years now.

I stumbled across the board after doing a search on castration. After spending days at my computer with my balls scrunched under me, I thought, Why do I need these?

All I did with my cock was masturbate, and with age, I was doing less and less of that. It was uncomfortable to have balls, and I didn't figure I needed them any longer.

At first, it was just aesthetics and comfort. I checked myself out in the mirror with them pushed up out of sight. I liked the look. Then, I started reading stories on EA. They turned me on, so I began writing them. The thought of being castrated turned me on. (What an oxymoron that is, to want to be castrated because the idea of it turns you on) I started seriously considering a trip to Philly (to see Spector, then).

I'm thankful I read the message boards on EA first. I wanted to be castrated for all the wrong reasons: the idea of it turned me on; I didn't like having balls hanging from my dick.

I didn't have any of the valid reasons others have: high libido (I wish it were higher); gender identity (I've always been glad I'm a man).

Also, I want none of the side effects of castration: osteoporosis; feminizing; loss of strength and muscles; impairment of short term memory; weight gain.

I just didn't -- don't -- want my balls. Even when I was considering castration, I would have implemented testosterone replacement. I want to be a eunuch physically, but I don't want to be a eunuch in any other way.

So -- it makes no sense for me to go through with it. If I knew I could obtain HRT easily at no great expense I might, but I'm not assured of that. I think that if I had been castrated, I would be one writing about how much I regretted it. I know I would, if I couldn't obtain testosterone.

For many people, castration seems to have had good results, but many want it for the wrong reasons. Those are the ones that will regret it. One might be turned on by the thought of being castrated -- to the point of obsession -- but once he's castrated, that's it. They don't grow back, letting him do it again. (hmm...an interesting idea for a story)

I think most of those people are in love with the idea of castration, not with castration, itself, and telling those people to test drive with chemical castration probably does no good. They aren't looking for the effects of castration, but for the act of castration.

As far as NORMAL is concerned, I don't think it exists. We all fit somewhere on lines (all the human characteristics) ranging from one extreme to the other, none I would think, exactly on the center of all lines. What, then, is normal?

Mine have only been gone for a week. But Im glad the filthy things are no more. They always smelt and felt horrible between my legs. Ive still some pain there. But I feel great.