Famous Last Words

[Nena (imported)]

Famous Last Words

# "What the fuck was that?" Mayor of Hiroshima

# "That's not a real fucking gun" John Lennon

# "Who's gonna fucking find out" Richard Nixon

# "Heads are going to fucking roll" Henry VIII

# "Any fucking idiot could understand that" Albert Einstein

# "It does so fucking look like her!" Picasso

# "How the fuck did you figure that out?" Pythagoras

# "You want what on the fucking ceiling?" Michaelangelo

# "You're all fucking liars!" Oliver North

# "Fuck you, Fuck you, and Fuck you. Who's next?" Eddie Murphy

# "Fuck a duck" Walt Disney

# "Why? Because its fucking there" Edmund Hillary

# "I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" Joan of Arc

# "Scattered showers my fucking ass!" Noah

# "Who let the fucking woman drive?" Commander of the space shuttle "Challenger"

# "Where the fuck did all these fucking Indians come from?" General Custer

# "Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" Captain of the Titanic

# "Where the fuck have you been?" Stanley to Livingstone

# "Can you smell fucking gas?" Captain of the Hindenburg

# "Fuck you Brutus!" Julius Caesar

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Dead Duck Fuck

MallardA Dutch researcher whose documentation of the necrophiliac habits of homosexual mallard ducks won him the Ig Nobel prize ("Every Ig Nobel Prize winner has done something that first makes people laugh, then makes them think.") will tour the UK this week on the Ig Nobel tour.

Kees Moeliker's observations of a male mallard, whose "rape flight attempt" of another male mallard was interrupted by the glass facade of a building and his quarry's sudden death, won him the prize. Soon after the one male duck hit the building, the other attempted to have sex with it for 75 minutes before being interrupted by the Dutchman. "I secured the dead duck and left the museum at 19.25 hours. The mallard was still present at the site, calling 'raeb-raeb' and apparently looking for his victim (who, by then, was in the freezer)."

Necrophilia among ducks ruffles research feathers [Guardian UK]

Related

Maybe It's Just a Phase [tr]

Researchers find 20 pairs of gay penguins [tr]

The P Word [tr]

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Duck Fuck

Ingredients:

* 4 parts Gin (Tanqueray)

* 1 part Vodka (Stoli)

* Fill with Beer

Mixing instructions:

Find a large shot glass (1 1/2 - 2 oz. is appropriate). Fill 80% of the way with Tanqueray gin. Fill another 15% with Stoli or Absolut vodka. Fill to the rim with cheap "Ice" beer (best results with Busch Ice).

Creator/contributor's comments:

Invented at my cabin the day after a huge party using the only stuff left over. I used Tanqueray gin, Stolichnaya vodka, and Busch Ice beer. Hope you don't try too many!

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OOOH! OOOOH!!! AND HERE'S A SONG FOR YOU!!!

[Dave (imported)]

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

-- Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed

[Riverwind (imported)]

W.C.Fields, reading the bible before he died said he was Looking for loopholes.

Trivia. W.C died the day I was born.

Nena, great post.

River

[Nena (imported)]

W.C.Fields, reading the bible before he died said he was Looking for loopholes.

Trivia. W.C died the day I was born.

Nena, great post.

River

You´re a lucky guy..... have to say W. C. Fields is one of my alltime favorites and only some insiders know him here in europe....... he´s one of the best comedians ever....

Thanx River

[Dave (imported)]

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

This was an epitaph Fields proposed for himself in a 1925 article in Vanity Fair . It refers to his long standing jokes about Philadelphia (his actual birthplace), and the grave being one place he might actually not prefer to be. This is often repeated as "On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.", or "All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia." which he might have stated at other times. It has also sometimes been distorted into a final dig at Philadelphia: "Better here than in Philadelphia." His actual tomb at Forest Lawn in Glendale, California simply reads "W. C. Fields 1880 - 1946".