While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles per hour over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."



A-1

And he either laughed so hard he peed his pants and waved her on, or he gave her a ticket for driving 50 MPH over the limit.

I know, and have worked with, both kinds of cops. After I flunked two of Type II (for very good cause) in one of my classes, I never drove even 1 MPH over the limit for the next five years.

You forgot the Master Card ending.

Fine for insulting officer of the law $120

Look on officers face. Priceless.

I've heard (and mangled in the retelling) a much loonger version. It involves fish and newspapers, though the end is the same.