New Element Discovered
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:39 pm
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT - GOVERNMENTIUM
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been name
Governmentium.
Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
311.
These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days
to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's
mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will
cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many
peons but twice as many morons.
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been name
Governmentium.
Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
311.
These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days
to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's
mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will
cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many
peons but twice as many morons.
A-1 
