Installing Windows XP
Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 5:31 am
Installing windows XP
YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?
Yes.
ARE YOU REALLY SURE?
Yes.
ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?
YES!
OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU
THAT NOW. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER
AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI- TRUST" NONSENSE.
INGRATE.
Just get on with it.
ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO
CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE
SEVERAL DAYS.
Groan.
THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE
PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT LET YOU INSTALL XP.
Problems? What problems?
THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK
WITH THE MOTHERBOARD.
But I'm using it at this very moment.
THAT IS IRRELEVANT.
But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I
can't very well see this warning message telling me that the video
card wasn't...
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT
PRODUCT. LOGIC DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND
THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS:
WINDOWS XP IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING
HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS,
MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB
CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE, MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.
All that?
YES. AND THE HARDDRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE
THE MANUFACTURER.
Well what *DOES* work?
THE MOUSE.
The mouse?
YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.
I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.
YES YOU DO.
No I don't.
WHAT'S THAT THEN?
It's a 3 1/2 drive.
NO IT ISN'T.
Yes it is.
YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.
Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the
latest drivers for everything later? Please?
WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?
Well it is mine.
NO IT ISN'T.
It bloody well is.
NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE
BOX. OUR SYSTEM. IT'S OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4
CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.
But why?
BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDJIT. WE CAN'T
VERY WELL HAVE PEOPLE PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE
ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW COULD WE?
YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN WHERE
WOULD WE BE? I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S
WHERE. I... HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT
A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT
PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT
DISK. IS THAT DOS? YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD
YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE POWE..........
c:
YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?
Yes.
ARE YOU REALLY SURE?
Yes.
ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?
YES!
OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU
THAT NOW. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER
AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI- TRUST" NONSENSE.
INGRATE.
Just get on with it.
ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO
CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE
SEVERAL DAYS.
Groan.
THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE
PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT LET YOU INSTALL XP.
Problems? What problems?
THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK
WITH THE MOTHERBOARD.
But I'm using it at this very moment.
THAT IS IRRELEVANT.
But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I
can't very well see this warning message telling me that the video
card wasn't...
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT
PRODUCT. LOGIC DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND
THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS:
WINDOWS XP IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING
HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS,
MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB
CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE, MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.
All that?
YES. AND THE HARDDRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE
THE MANUFACTURER.
Well what *DOES* work?
THE MOUSE.
The mouse?
YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.
I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.
YES YOU DO.
No I don't.
WHAT'S THAT THEN?
It's a 3 1/2 drive.
NO IT ISN'T.
Yes it is.
YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.
Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the
latest drivers for everything later? Please?
WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?
Well it is mine.
NO IT ISN'T.
It bloody well is.
NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE
BOX. OUR SYSTEM. IT'S OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4
CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.
But why?
BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDJIT. WE CAN'T
VERY WELL HAVE PEOPLE PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE
ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW COULD WE?
YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN WHERE
WOULD WE BE? I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S
WHERE. I... HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT
A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT
PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT
DISK. IS THAT DOS? YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD
YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE POWE..........
c: