Questions about Androcur

[depobeginner (imported)]

Hello everyone,

For the first time this past year, I tried depo-provera in an attempt to lower libido. I had somewhat of an allergic reaction to the depo and have not had any injections since July (it is now almost January). To my extreme dissapointment, I feel myself returning to testosterone. Unwanted sexual urges are coming back and I find myself being more impatient and less caring with my partner. I don't want any of this to come back and I am considering taking Androcur. However, I feel that I lose some of my carefree and social attitude when on anti-androgens. I am young and can't realistically consider castration, even if that is what I want, and I can't be on medication forever, for myself and for my partner's sake. I need to know that I can be who I want to be without drugs, but I don't know if one can overcome the hormonal effects of testosterone by sheer willpower. There is no psychiatrist or therapist that can understand what I am trying to do, so this seems to be my only resource.

I may try to go on a low dose of Androcur to aide me in this trial. However, I want to know if anyone has been able to suppress the effects of testosterone naturally, or knows of any way to do so. It is so hard to be fighting against oneself, and to know exactly what person I want to be and to have been that person on depo for awhile. Why is it that I must fight a hormone in my body that seems to be contradiciting what I believe?

If anyone can help, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Thanks.