Santa Impersonators

[Paolo]

As some of you may or may not know, in 2001 I did a long sojourn at EC, where I met so many wonderful people, both Archive Staff and not.

While there, near the Mall of America, and with my talent for shopping, a small group of us ventured to the Promised Mall and were immediately confronted by the most frightening Santa that I've seen in my life.

B. described him as some old flaming, worn out drag queen dressed up as Santa...we were both scared of him.

So were a LOT of the kids!:-\

What I would like to hear, as the Holidays are upon us, is your most frightening experience, or perhaps, the most bizarre Santa you have ever seen.

Thanks.

P

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

I am the most frightening, bizarre Santa I've ever seen! --FLO--

[JesusA (imported)]

I spent a wonderful time talking with Uncle Flo. I can't imagine him even imitating a frightening Santa.

[Blaise (imported)]

I have never had a bad Santa experience.

I know a story about someone who poured catsup over a red coat on his door step and then fired a shotgun on Christmas Even. He shouted, "Go away you old bastard."

His kids shouted, "Daddy, Daddy, you shot Santa Claus!"

That is pretty mean. The guy who did this was a friend of my father. I knew the fellow's son. We took French in the same class.

My father had a high school classmate (class of 1935) who was a retired Marine Corps officer. He had a full white beard. He rebuilt wheelchairs for inprovident victims of illness. His job was to train people to portray Santa in stores. At a reunion, he ruled the day. Everyone, including retired cancer researchers, surgeons, and generals, found him delightful.

I never had a problem with Santa, but I endured a nightmare about that damm Easter Bunny. I do not know why I had a bad dream about the EB. I loved Bugs Bunny.

Santa used to wear green (and sometimes blue). Coca-Cola changed his color to red.

I am a late shopper. I prefer shopping on Christmas Eve to shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I never see Santa on Christmas Eve. By that time, he is already on the road.

Alan Jaffe, the founder of Preservation Hall, used to walk around the Vieux Carre in New Orleans during Advent. Alan would dress as Santa and play his tuba. He was delightful.

Even in New Orleans, I have not, to my knowledge, encountered a cross-dressing Santa, but what a great idea!

[SplitDik (imported)]

One of my best friends is quite large and makes a good Santa (no need for padding the suit). He's single and so he got a good Santa suit and his gig for several years now is to go to the clubs as Santa with a big bag of candy canes. Surprisingly (to me) his normally poor record with women is totally reversed -- every drunk woman in the club comes up and does some racy dancing with him. The club we go to is right next to a strip club so we then go over there and he makes a deal with the DJ to take part in the show. He doesn't strip -- rather he puts a roll of money in his mouth (still dressed as Santa) lies down on the stage and the girls pick up the money with their pussy! That's a pretty scary image of Santa if I've ever seen one!

[An Onymus (imported)]

There are people who think the Santa at the Christmas party, killed JonBenet Ramsey. Don't think there is any evidence to support the idea.

[Blaise (imported)]

One of my best friends is quite large and makes a good Santa (no need for padding the suit). He's single and so he got a good Santa suit and his gig for several years now is to go to the clubs as Santa with a big bag of candy canes. Surprisingly (to me) his normally poor record with women is totally reversed -- every drunk woman in the club comes up and does some racy dancing with him. The club we go to is right next to a strip club so we then go over there and he makes a deal with the DJ to take part in the show. He doesn't strip -- rather he puts a roll of money in his mouth (still dressed as Santa) lies down on the stage and the girls pick up the money with their pussy! That's a pretty scary image of Santa if I've ever seen one!

That story is just too good. I love it.

[A-1 (imported)]

An Onymus...

There are people who think the Santa at the Christmas party, killed JonBenet Ramsey. Don't think there is any evidence to support the idea.

Hmm,

How about...

...sitting on John Wayne Gacy's lap as he played Santa Claus in a downtown Chicago department store one snowy afternoon in December.

squirmed...

cried...

Mom didn't leave me there long.

Santa Claus had these weird helpers in those days...

...and, how many little children were "treated" to this experience?

Question, if you were a PEDIOPHILE, how could you get the MOST amount of contact with little children that you didn't know in the shortest amount of time?

...cheap lap dances...

...it ain't rocket science.

...why do parents make their poor children sit in the lap of a TOTAL STRANGER in a disguise at Christmastime?

Santa, is that a FLASHLIGHT in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I mean... this is sooo sick, folks...

:shakemitk

A-1

[SplitDik (imported)]

Santa, is that a FLASHLIGHT in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

He told me it was a CANDYCANE in his pocket ...

[Dave (imported)]

Now I realize that this is the the deep, dark cellar,

but can you think of a more scrooge-like and joyless topic than "santa impersonators" who turn out to be pedophiles and cannibbals? Gee, that on par with the freeze-dried cow-flops someone sent me last year for C|hristmas and thought it was funny.

Do you really think the local mall or department store Santa is a sexual predator?

Would you really take the pleasure of opening christmas presents and replace it with fear of being possibly touched in a "bad" place? That reminds of a friend who criticized the way I cooked when he visited. He didn;t think I was sanitary enough and he had just spent three days at a "brown" festival eating (doo doo) ...

If you think this is a really nice topic for the holiday season, please seek psychiatric help or a a large dose of happy pills ! ! !